Amazing Race

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Hell in High Water

Brian and Ericka reach the hookah task, and Brian quickly breaks the lid off their crate so they can get right to work. Sam and Dan, meanwhile, reach Abra Station and decide to do Gold. The sun's beating down on Brian and Ericka, to the point where when he accidentally touches the stone instead of the rug that serves as their workspace, he burns himself. Hopefully not on his rowing blister. Ericka expresses her regret that they didn't do this first. She'll get over that.

Team Inside Straight decides to do Gold. "Mo and I know how to handle money," Tiffany says in their water taxi. And if all else fails, they can just pile all the gold onto the scale and say, "All in." Brian and Ericka are down to the hosepipes on their hookahs. "I don't think the colors matter," Ericka says as they work on attaching them. But they get a no. "It's gotta be something so miniscule," Ericka says. Like maybe the color of the hosepipes?

Mika and Canaan reach the Abra Station clue box. She opens the clue, dropping pieces of the envelope everywhere and ordering Canaan to pick them up. They decide on Glass. She'll need to get better at not dropping shit, then.

Gary and Matt are approaching the market, as Ericka tells Brian to try another combination of pieces. She talks about their frustration as Matt and Gary get to work unpacking the straw in their crate. "This smells familiar," Gary says, showing once again that there is literally nothing new to them in the entire world. "Should we take some home for the horses?" Dude, you want straw? Come to my house and pick up the two dozen bales we bought to use for M. Edium's birthday party. I thought buying straw in the city was hard, but getting rid of it is harder.

Sam and Dan arrive at the jewelers, and Sam nearly hurts himself trying to pick up a block of gold the size of a Velveeta. "Those things are heavy," he gasps. Judging by the percentage of the gold it comprises in shots of the correct amounts later on, I'm guessing it's about 24 pounds, which would be startling for something that size. Assuming it's real gold, of course. Hey, here's a formula for Brian to find: how many cameras in the room does it take to make up for the security risk of a bunch of cash-motivated Americans tramping through here with backpacks? Assume X is the number of cameras and Y is the number of pockets on each person's bag. Anyway, according to the monitor, the exchange rate is now $941.25 an ounce. "What does that mean?" Sam wonders, as Dan sports his dopiest look of what is turning out to be a rather expansive repertoire of dopey looks. But unlike Brian and Ericka, they at least have a calculator with them. They interview about how they outfitted themselves at Wal Mart and said, "Oh, a calculator for two dollars, let's throw that in there." But you still need to know how to use it, which I'm not sure they do, even before the rate changes to $928.50. "I just don't understand their exchange rate," Sam says. Oh, dear.

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Amazing Race

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