Amazing Race

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Hell in High Water

Anyway, Cheyne goes first, and it starts as a very steep slide, then it goes level as it turns into a clear Plexiglas tunnel that runs through the aforementioned shark tank, before he finally comes out in a pool at the bottom. Still topside, Meghan asks if those are real sharks. Of course they are. She doesn't really get how the shark tank part works. She interviews that she decided not think about it and just do it. And then she just does it. Although at the bottom, she hurries to the edge of the pool, telling Cheyne, "There's sharks in here!" like one of them is going to follow her out the slide and take a chunk out of her. They proceed to the clue box standing in the pool, and Phil tells us they're going to Dolphin Bay Beach, which is apparently right on the grounds of the resort, on the edge of the Gulf. "This is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race," Phil tells us from the beach, wearing the dorkiest sun hat I've ever seen on him. This is the price of fedoras being over, people. "The last team to check in here may be eliminated." Meghan and Cheyne jog along the grounds, still in their swimsuits. "That was scary," Meghan says. They get to the beach where Phil is standing in front of the mat with a greeter that they clearly drafted from the ranks of Atlantis resort employees. He's in his work uniform and everything. He welcomes them and shakes their hands, and Phil tells them they're team number one. They hug, and Cheyne picks Meghan up and drags her into the water, despite her laughing protests. "Okay, okay, what do we win?" Cheyne says, wading back up to the mat. It's personal watercrafts this week. They interview that this is the best experience of their lives. "Every step of the way it's getting better and better," she adds. Yes, it's easy to enjoy the race when you're a frontrunner, but I didn't really get the sense that the second time they got an F on their hookah-building was better than the first time.

Brian and Ericka are still battling frustration, while Canaan seems to be battling his poor shave. Gary watches Matt move on to a different group of hookahs. The Globetrotters are arriving outside, as Brian fiddles around with minor adjustments. "Oh, hell," Ericka says as the Globetrotters show up. "It's on now!" one of them yells as Ericka stares death-beams across the courtyard at them. Brian calls for another check and gets waved off again, and Ericka just about loses it, yelling at no one. Commercials!

As usual the commercials are what it takes to create a breakthrough. Brian and Ericka start walking through it patiently. Meanwhile, Matt and Gary are missing a set of tongs, and are now rifling through their straw, having another look for it. "The proverbial needle in a haystack," Gary remarks. I'm glad to see Gary isn't as prone to misusing the word "literally" as Phil is. Big Easy proposes switching tasks, pointing out, "Everybody looks stuck." "We got to do mathematics and all that kind of stuff," Flight Time protests. And Matt abruptly runs out of steam. "I'm sorry, Dad, I'm about to pass out," he says. "Sit down," Gary tells him, like it ain't no thing. He's actually quite cool about it, like, "Don't worry, I got this." No wonder Matt missed him growing up. Matt all but collapses against a planter. The heat is also telling on Mika. And what it's telling us is that she isn't doing anything. Matt is surprisingly eloquent about the effects of the heat, considering he must be experiencing tunnel vision and dizziness: "The heat just twirls your world and you don't know what's up or what's down or what's going on." Mika is rather more blunt: "I wish I were naked right now." Well that doesn't sound very sexually pure.

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Amazing Race

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