Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
Taxiing Their Patience

Team Divorced notices that all the cabs are coming out of the same yard, so they decide to go check and see if their cab is still there by some miracle. And it's there. Been there the whole time. It's like they're inventing new ways to fall behind. On the road, they vow, "Today sucked in the arena of clue reading, but we gonna fix that tomorrow. We're gonna be bad A.B.s." Rule number one: if you can't make yourself say "Bad-ass bitches," you don't get to be one. Wait, that's rule number two. Rule number one is READ THE FUCKING CLUE.

A defeated Andrew returns to the painter to start reading off his transcription of the wall, and he and Dan are very excited when they finally get to leave in eighth place. Then one of the Belles attempts to do the same, apparently not having overheard Andrew. She ventures, "Casa de Jose de..." "Alencar?" asks the painter. "Yes," she says. "No," he says. This guy is cracking me up. But she gets to the right answer before Anthony comes plodding back with his list. "Now we're in last place," Stephanie says, as though this is news. In their cabs, the Belles talk about how this proves that girls from South Carolina are not stupid, which is probably a reference to that brainfarting beauty pageant contestant. But I don't believe anyone ever said that all girls from South Carolina are stupid. In fact, I only know of three.

Anthony is reading his list to the painter (while Nick and Starr arrive at the mat in sixth place). Once he's done, he and Stephanie aren't too happy to learn that they're off to the Pit Stop from here. I guess that means they're stuck with a functioning cab, unless Anthony wants to get under the hood and start yanking on shit.

Kelly and Christy arrive at the Pit Stop, hoping for sixth place, and Phil gently tells them they're seventh. The Frat Boys' cab is pulling up to the park, and the Belles are right behind them, recognizing Andrew's poufy hair through the back window of the cab he's sharing with Dan. Both teams disembark, with the Belles following the Frat Boys in search of the park. Because following teams has worked out so well for them today. Meanwhile, in last place, Anthony is trying to stay positive. "We're not going to be eliminated," he assures Stephanie. Well, no, not until you get there. The Frat Boys and the Belles are both circling the park looking for an entrance, while a local is trying to quietly wave the girls in the right direction. We're meant to think that Anthony and Stephanie are arriving at just about the same time, but the next to run to the mat are fact the Frat Boys, with the Belles showing up next-to-last again. It can't be that close, because the mat is clear when Anthony and Stephanie arrive and get Philiminated.

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Amazing Race




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