Amazing Race
Do You Need Some Mouth-To-Mouth Resuscitation?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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The one with all the eating

At any rate, when Debbie and Bianca emerge from the hotel, they find that their driver is gone. "This is retarded," one of them says, again proving that, to the degree that there's any usefulness to that term, she doesn't know how to use it properly. Your cab being gone isn't retarded; it's bad and sort of sucks for you, but...not the same thing. Meanwhile, Rob and Amber get to the car park, where they greet Ray and Deana. Debbie and Bianca, having obtained another cab, arrive shortly thereafter. So everybody is all bunched up, waiting for the garage to open. And at 5:00 AM, open it does. Teams run in to get cars, and then everyone heads out. Navigator Amber tells Rob what road they're looking for, and he says he'll ask a nearby police officer where to find it. As a matter of fact, he gets the cop to drive in front of him and show him where the street is. "Best way to get directions in Santiago? Get a police escort." They get on the main highway toward Argentina, and are closely followed by Lynn and Alex, Meredith and Gretchen, Brian and Greg, Ron and Kelly, Uchenna and Joyce, and Ray and Deana.

Patrick and Susan, on the other hand, pull into a gas station to ask for directions. So far, so good -- if you don't know what you're doing, that's what you do. You can't go wrong anywhere where they give away air for free. As they're waiting at the station, Debbie and Bianca pass them on their way out of town, presumably using those directions they got at the hotel while their driver was renegotiating his contract. Debbie and Bianca finally get onto the highway, though, again, they are "retarded" in their own minds. (Closer. You're getting closer to the proper usage, ladies.) Susan and Patrick? Still trying to get out of town.

Rob and Amber get off the highway at an exit labeled "Los Andes." Seriously. It says, "Los Andes." Just for future reference, in terms of how difficult to miss it is. Amber confirms that this is the exit he wants. Just behind them are Lynn and Alex and a bunch of other teams who, confronted with a task explicitly requiring a drive through the Andes mountains, are capable of taking the exit marked "Los Andes." Meredith and Gretchen, Brian and Greg, Ron and Kelly, Uchenna and Joyce, Ray and Deana. This whole group is basically together, it appears, on the way to Argentina.

Aaaand, very much elsewhere, Debbie and Bianca are checking to make sure they're still on 5 North. Which...they still are. And which...they shouldn't be. Bianca actually says, rather tragically, that she thinks they missed an exit. But Debbie says they didn't. What led her to that conclusion is a mysterious and fascinating question, that's for sure. It certainly wasn't the position of the sun or the mountains, or anything on the map, or logic, or...signs. Because all of those things would have tended to suggest they, you know, missed an exit.

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Amazing Race

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