Amazing Race
Do You Need Some Mouth-To-Mouth Resuscitation?

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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The one with all the eating

Lynn and Alex! Rob and Amber! Who will arrive at this early clue box first? It's a credit to the editing that this paddle-battle is almost as tense as it would be if it made a whit of difference. "I hate them so much," Alex snots in an interview. You "hate" them? Golly. "I was just so sick at that point of Rob and Amber being in front of me," he adds. Oh. Okay, that's what "hate" is referring to, then. That's not really hating them, that's hating looking at their backs. Lynn and Alex apparently set themselves to the task of passing Rob and Amber in the rafts, which they do, through apparently flawless rowing execution and the effects of several of the deadly sins colliding in one majestic burst of energy. And, you know, it's easy to mock Amber for looking like her tiny arms are about to fall off, but it's also easy to forget that this wasn't the quick dip in and out that they make it appear here. It was seven miles, which is not a short distance. Lynn and Alex were very close behind Rob and Amber, and had a very long time to make up a very short distance. And ultimately, Lynn and Alex do indeed jump out of the river with their raft just ahead of Amber and Rob. Spiteful mission accomplished, and God knows it's not like I can't relate to that.

The next clue tells them to head toward Mendoza, which Phil explains will be about 70 miles. They'll make their way to a "traditional Argentine barbecue" (heh) at a place called Camping Suizo. Lynn and Alex get into their car, still crowing about passing Rob. Rob and Amber kind of don't care so much about having been passed as they get their clue and get into the car, saying "good job" and so forth. Amber chuckles that she kept thinking, "You're getting in shape, you're getting in shape." Heh. I kind of hate the interview that follows in which she talks about having to be thin for her wedding -- unlike, I guess, the hog she is right now. But if there's any time when people are vulnerable to that, I suppose it's prior to their wedding. But really, "You have to fit into a dress"? Mm-hmm. Keep paddling, indeed, Amber! You don't want them to have to bring in extra bolts of fabric to swath those giant hammy arms of yours.

Ron and Kelly do not use the Yield, and choose Paddle. Same with Ray and Deana, same with Uchenna and Joyce.

Susan and Patrick are at least in the mountains now, so that seems to be progress. And presumably they're the Andes, and not, say, the Rockies. Susan notes that her "ears have popped a couple of times," and Patrick agrees. Elsewhere, Debbie and Bianca are at...the ocean. Where they should not be. "This is absolutely gorgeous, but we've got major problems," Debbie says. Heh. What's great is that originally, when they missed the exit, Debbie was driving and Bianca was navigating, so at some point, they actually slowed down enough to stop and change drivers, and they still didn't figure out that they were driving in the completely wrong direction. Finally, Debbie says that they need to stop. Well, finally. When they ask someone where they are with respect to Puente Viejo, they learn that they drove two hours past it. Two. Hours. "We're off this map," one of them notes. Heh heh. Mistakes are very easy to make, but I'd have a lot more sympathy for that one if there hadn't been about eighty billion opportunities to rectify it. ["I'd have a lot more sympathy for that one if someone else had made it. Shut up, Debbie." -- Sars]

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Amazing Race

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