Amazing Race

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The Hip Bone's Connected to the What Now?

Time to board the train, and the re-racers get into their tiny compartments with triple-decker sleeper berths. Zev and Justin grin down at us from their top-tier bunks, looking for all the world like they're at the top of a belfry staircase. But they feel less likely to be murdered at this altitude, at least. That's true; Jaime's not very tall.

The train pulls out, and the next thing we know, we're in Kunming, China, which looks pretty busy for the predawn hours of the morning. "Off and running," Kisha says as they disembark. She and Jen seem to be the first team to find a cab, and we hear Jen say that it's 5:30. That is an early start. Ron and Christina are also underway, speaking Mandarin to their driver in what Christina calls their "home court advantage." Zev and Justin, aware of this advantage, are following them. There must be a lot of taxi-related crime in Kunming, because these cabs have so many bars and barriers in them it's like racing (and trying to shoot a TV show) inside a mobile jail. Jaime and Cara are thinking about the Double U-Turn that they know is somewhere ahead. And Vyxsin says she and Kent have got to get it together. Which his odd, because she left her eyebrows behind again.

At the flower market, we see Jen/Kisha, Zev/Justin, and Luke/Margie telling their cabs to wait. Ron and Christina are also there. The sisters are the first to find the clue box among the banks of flowers, because they're often first at the beginning or the middle of a leg when it doesn't matter. They read, "Make your way to the Golden Arches." No, not McDonald's; Phil clarifies that they actually need to go to where two monument-sized Chinese arches face each other in the city. One is known as the Golden Horse and the other is the Jade Cock, which makes it sound like the kind of place that has something for everyone to ride. Jen and Kisha head back to their cab, while Team Asperger's finds the clue box in second place, just ahead of Ron and Christina. But they still want to follow the father-daughter team. "Sure," Christina says unenthusiastically. But I guess if it really bothered them, Ron wouldn't have a problem saying so.

Margie and Luke find the clue in fourth place, and another group of teams starts arriving. Team Go Team, the Globetrotters, and the Cowboys are all clearly seen telling their cabbies to wait, but the Goths and Gary/Mallory are not. The cheerleaders find the clue in fifth, followed by the Goths and the Cowboys, then Gary and Mallory (the latter of whom says, "let's go find a cabdriver," implying that they cut theirs loose) and then the Globetrotters. Outside, Gary and Mallory grab a cab that's waiting for someone else, and the Cowboys find themselves standing next to a taxi that's not theirs, but it's the only one left, so what else are they going to do but take it? Cab-poaching rolls downhill, looks like. Both teams get going. The Globetrotters get the clue in last place, and are not pleased to emerge from the market to find their taxi, and indeed all the other taxis, gone. "Somebody's still standing there trying to find a cab," Jet says neutrally as he and Cord ride off in what was probably Flight Time and Big Easy's. The Globetrotters wander around the street calling for a cab. "This is bad, Nate," Flight Time says. Must be, because we're going to commercial. But after a brief, post-commercial search, they find a new one. Must not be as hard to find a cab outside Dounan Flower Market at six in the morning as they thought, even if it is during a commercial break.

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Amazing Race

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