Amazing Race
Don't Talk To Me Like I Was An Animal Or Something

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Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
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In my beautiful (and slow) balloon

In the Linz car, Nick (I believe) is doing his best Mama Weaver, saying in a high-pitched biddy voice, "You're supposed to yieeeeld for oncoming veeehicles!" And then Alex throws in, for no good reason, "And my face is so wrinkled." Which is totally irrelevant and borderline offensive, but kind of deserved.

Sharon and Michelle keep it up on the horses, and they ultimately get their clue and take off. The Linzes are still driving into the ranch property, so they encounter the pinks as the pinks are leaving. Tommy and Alex take the Roadblock as the Godlewskis express their great happiness over not being last. Tommy does a lot of whooping and hooting on the horse, but we don't see very much of that, and before you know it, the Linzes are on their way.

Holy God, this episode is boring. Is it just me?

The Bransens pull into Yellowstone and park near the geyser. They're informed that it's supposed to go off around 4:30, which is in about fifty minutes. So Wally is hoping that it will go ahead and blow, and that not too many people will get there. But...the Weavers are coming. They pull into Yellowstone as well, and Wally and the Tonyas spot them running up to Old Faithful. And they're literally running, which you're apparently not supposed to do in the park. ["True. A ranger yelled at my mom for that." -- Sars] There is some back-and-forth as these teams talk amongst themselves -- the Weavers not sure why the Bransens are all sitting on the ground, and the Bransens not sure why the Weavers are wandering like they don't know where they're going instead of just coming over to where the Bransens are. "Are they retarded? Don't they see us?" asks one of the Tonyas. Certainly is a big day for being retarded. When Mama Weaver gets there with the little ones, she says to the Bransens, "So what are you guys doing, waiting for it to erupt?" I really wish somebody had been like, "No, dumb-ass, we're sitting here waiting to have lunch with you." Because...what? And shut up. As it turns out, the Weavers have gotten incredibly lucky yet again in a manner they will certainly attribute to being favored by God, because the geyser is getting ready to go off any minute, and they're just in time to see it.

The Godlewskis are close, and the Linzes are, too. They're both inside the park. And then...the geyser blows. The Godlewskis can even see from their car that it's going off without them there, which would be incredibly frustrating. Once the geyser has finished erupting -- which looks on TV just the way I remember it -- the first two teams, the Bransens and Weavers, get their clue from the fireman waiting with them. It tells them to drive south on Highway 287 and find a ranch at 15200. And then at the ranch, "search for Phil." So, obviously, not a pit stop, if you've seen the show, particularly last season.

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Amazing Race

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