Amazing Race
Don't Try To Play The Moralist Now!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Ferry dusted

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Kuala Lumpur Airport. Nerd Lust strolls in, with all nerd glasses ablaze. Asshat soon follows. At what is presumably the gate for the flight to Vietnam, the teams all are reunited. "They are going to rub it in our faces," Kenny says, regarding the loss of their lead. As they approach, however, Derek and Drew just turn to each other and exchange Mr. Burns-ian "Eeeeexcellent"s, which was pretty funny, actually. Ian looks on the non-bright side, as usual, by saying that he's not happy they're all together, although he's glad not to be behind.

The flight to Vietnam carries all four teams. The Amazing Yellow Line slides over to Ho Chi Minh City. When they all land, they have to go through customs -- a process we usually don't see, probably because it's generally very boring. There are several customs lines. Flo winds up in the same one with Derek and Drew (unsurprisingly), while Zach is in another one. Zach voices over that he picked one line and Flo picked another -- somehow, I suspect the fact that hers was the same one as Derek and Drew is not a coincidence, considering that she seems to have attached herself to Drew with a length of fishing line. Flo gets through customs with the twins before Zach is through, and the twins take off in a cab. Zach explains that Flo wanted him to cut in the customs line that she had been in, and he "didn't feel comfortable" doing that, and decided to stay in his own line. Meanwhile, Ken and Gerard get out of the airport and run for a cab, as does Asshat, meaning that FloZach is bringing up the rear out of the airport.

When Flo and Zach get into their cab, she slams the door as hard as she can, because Miss Flo is displeased, and she doesn't want you to miss it. As if such a thing were possible.

The cameramen careen around Ho Chi Minh City until they come to rest on Derek and Drew, who are in their cab. They're aware that they've gotten out of the airport first, and they're making their way to Rex Square. Elsewhere, the FloZach cab proceeds in silence, because Flo is working her pouting as hard as possible, and Zach is trying almost as hard to avoid getting into it with her. "You can't win this race without cutting lines, Zach," she says finally, unable to hold it in any longer. "I disagree," he says evenly. He tries to argue that they're really not that far behind, but she insists that indeed, they are horribly and irretrievably behind. "There is no reason to be in the back right now," she whines. And then Flo uncorks what may well be the most unintentionally funny line in the history of this show. Ah, screw it -- it is the most unintentionally funny line in the history of this show. She says, "I don't work all day and all night to be in the front to get screwed because of something so stupid." Excuse me, did she say "work all day and all night"? Would that be the part where she wouldn't do the rappel? Where she wouldn't do the bungee jump? Where she wouldn't carry her own pack? Where she didn't drive and couldn't read a map? Where she completely and utterly gave up when she thought they were behind and about to be eliminated? Where she has done one Roadblock out of the eight they have encountered so far? (Zach did the dolphins, the Highland Games, the soccer, the tannery, the archery, the bike, and the pretend non-Roadblock at the fountain. Flo? Sold snails.) Good grief, what does Flo do for them, anyway? She buys tickets for other teams. She makes him find accommodations, and then complains about them (the game my Administrative Law professor used to call "Go Find A Rock...Oh, No, Not That Rock"). And now she wants to claim that she works and works and works, only to have her efforts undermined by his uncooperative ass? That is jaw-dropping self-delusion, to the point where I almost feel bad for her. None of this behavior is going to improve until she's aware of it, and she appears to be unaware.

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Amazing Race

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