Amazing Race
Dude, I'm Such A Hot Giant Chick Right Now!

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Barcelona Killed The Beauty Queens

Anyway, in less deeply meaningful Detour options, the BQs find their way to the giants. They each pick out a giant to wear, and they step inside. The giants' skirts turn out to have eyeholes in the front, which is kind of cute. So now they're wandering, heavy weight on their shoulders, barely able to see what they're doing, just desperately trying to get from here to there without falling down. That, of course, is a metaphor for everyone's entire life, but we'll leave it alone. They start to walk, talking about how important it is for them to be first.

Tomato relationship counseling. "We're going to be a half-hour behind the girls," Kimberly says miserably. "I want to GO!" And then Rob, bless his foolish heart, says with this utter bafflement, "Stop crying, dude." Telling her to stop crying does not stop her from crying, as anyone who cries regularly could tell you it wouldn't. "This is going to take forever, and I don't want -- ow!" She gets slammed in the face with a tomato. "I'm done," she sobs. And then she picks up some tomatoes, says (I believe) "Fuck all of you," and starts throwing them back at the crowd. That girl needs a hug. "I am done with this. No, I am out of here," she says, walking toward the car. "Please God," Rob says, apropos of nothing. "I'm not getting hit in the face again," she says. And then she shrieks, "BAAAABE!" "Just gave up," he pronounces. "I'm done," she says again as they run to the car. "Way to go, Kim," he says sarcastically. "Way to cry." Wait a minute, "way to... cry"? I have to say, I think this is a fundamental difference between people that's very hard to alter. "Way to cry" is a lot like "way to sneeze." Like, in theory, you could make yourself sneeze, but it's mostly an involuntary reaction, and it's not really a chosen behavior. In most cases in which I wind up crying, I want me to stop crying infinitely more than anyone else does. I happen to cry easily, which often makes people conclude that I'm more distraught than I actually am, and telling me "way to cry" is probably about the least productive thing you could try when it's happening.

Kim decides to protest: "I'm not crying!" He says, "I can't believe you, just because you're getting hit by a couple of tomatoes." Here's a news flash, "dude": she's not upset because she was getting hit by tomatoes. She was upset because she was getting hit by tomatoes and it didn't seem like you gave a shit, even though you gave a shit when it was happening to you. She felt alone in what was happening, and that's what was freaking her out. He continues, as they go to the car: "Let's go. You just gave up! You want to go so bad? You just blew it. You just blew it. You just threw in the damn towel." Her hair full of tomato seeds, she bends over the side of the cab miserably.

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Amazing Race

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