Amazing Race
Dude, I'm Such A Hot Giant Chick Right Now!

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Barcelona Killed The Beauty Queens

Commercials. Brooke Shields thinks it's important to have a healthy mouth. Did you hear that, Tom Cruise?

When we return, the hunt by the trailing teams for the clue box continues. Finally, a guy points the way and Rob spots the box. He and Kim take off at a run, so they get to the Detour clue just before the *lyns. Kim and Lyn wind up taking it for their teams.

We now join the A(AM!) car, where Tyler is reiterating that he doesn't want the BQs to last past today. He wants to see the *lyns in the final three, rather than the BQs. James goes on to explain, as tactfully as one can, that the *lyns are the least physically threatening of the teams, so that would be the biggest advantage for him and Tyler. In the BQ car, Kandice unfortunately says that she would rather get on a flight before Rob and Kim and "the sistas." Still not okay, but we've been there and done that. "I would rather have that than Christmas presents for the next five years," Dustin remarks. It's an interesting twist, that as we approach the holidays, it's like... now Santa Claus is in the tub. "I would trade never eating camel meat again," Kandice says. This is supposed to be funny, but Dustin completely ruins the joke, stomping all over it by saying, "That's not fair, it has to be something you want to do!" Yes, Dustin. Very good. That's what made it a joke. Boy, that was not a shining moment, being-with-the-program-wise.

Rob and Kimberly buy their meat and then head for the café, and the *lyns do the same. As Kim and Lyn grind meat, Lyn says that all meat is a "dead animal," so she wasn't particularly grossed out by it, or by grinding it or anything. Rob starts to hassle Kim about Lyn being ahead of him, and much like Colin and Christie often used to, they have a very tense conversation in which "babe" is used to mean "fuck you," and in which he tells her to speed up and she tells him not to talk at her while she's grinding. You know, camel meat. Lyn is first to get her meat onto the skewers and give it over to be grilled. When Kim brings her skewers over, she and Lyn start to have a little chat about how frustrating it is that the BQs got ahead of them. You will not be surprised to hear that in the BQ car, they are discussing how great they are, and how everyone must be talking about how great they are. SHOW, DON'T TELL. God.

When Lyn's meat comes off the fire, Karlyn starts telling her to just stuff it in her mouth, but of course, she can't really, because it just came off the hot fire. Karlyn continues nagging her to "hurry up," and Lyn continues stressing that she can't just stuff hot food -- hot greasy food, I would add -- down her throat. Kimberly paces and waits. Karlyn keeps bugging Lyn to go faster, and Lyn points out that she lets Karlyn do her Roadblocks without hassling her about it, so Karlyn needs to return the favor. Karlyn snaps back that Lyn is "chewing and contemplating." That would make a great holiday song. Finally, Kim gets her meat and starts eating, and before you know it, both Kimberly and Lyn are ready to smack their partners for the unending stream of kibitzing. Lyn gets all the way to "if you'd shut the hell up, I could do better." And Karlyn responds, "No, I don't think so." Nice one!

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Amazing Race

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