Amazing Race
Dude, I'm Such A Hot Giant Chick Right Now!

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Barcelona Killed The Beauty Queens

In the Pointymobile, Rob is talking about how "relentless" the BQs are, and how he doesn't like having them in the race. Lyn is saying the same thing in the other car, that she doesn't understand how the BQs got to that task so quickly. Back at the airport, both the A(AM!)s and the BQs are ticketed on the 4:30 PM flight to Barcelona. As James and Tyler walk through the airport, James recaps the BQs' genius theory about how they'd rather have them in the final three than Rob and Kim. "No friggin' way, girls, not going to happen," Tyler says. The *lyns come to the airport and are ticketed on the 4:30 flight. Ditto the Pointies, so it's all tied up. The four teams head for the plane, and as Tyler gets all tense and overly competitive talking about getting to the final three, I realize how much he sounds like TAR1 Rob. Seriously, a lot. If Tyler were from Minnesota, they could be vocal twins like Jonathan Penner and Alan Alda.

Aaaanyway. As the rest of the teams stand around and talk about how much they hope the BQs get eliminated, the BQs stand around and talk about how everyone is plotting against them. There's not really "plotting." There's just the fact that they don't particularly like you, partly because you do things like insult the boys' intelligence by suggesting that they would let you win the leg on purpose. The teams get on the plane, and Phil and the AYL inform us that they're on the way to Barcelona, where they'll take a taxi from the airport to a giant hedge maze with a clue in it somewhere. Yipes.

Barcelona! One of the few places the race has ever visited (outside the United States) where I have actually been. It was the worst summer of my life, probably, but that's neither here nor there. The plane lands, and all the teams run for cabs. "Rapido" is said quite a number of times as cab doors swing shut. As the BQs and A(AM!)s make their way along the road in cabs, Tyler says that they'll be sticking to the BQs for the rest of the leg. When the teams all reach the hedge maze, they learn that it's closed, and it won't open until 10:00 AM tomorrow.

And then it's night, and then it's going on 10:00 AM in Barcelona. As the teams stand around, the BQs decide they're going to call a taxi to have it ready when they're finished with this bit of business. They talk to some construction guys who have a phone with them and use it to call a taxi. Kandice tells the guy who's calling, in very broken -- as in shattered -- Spanish, that the driver should make sure he picks up two blonde women and nobody else. That's smart, at least. The other teams realize what they're doing and investigate. Rather preposterously, Rob tells Kim, "Use your sexuality," apparently to get the guys to call a taxi for them. That was... offensive, and yet so obviously stupid that I hardly know how to keep myself indignant. For Lyn and Karlyn, however, this taxi thing becomes a big hassle, because they're still very unhappy with each other from earlier. Lyn is trying to suggest they try to line up a taxi, but Karlyn will only give back a lot of passive-aggressive "whatever" and not looking her in the eye. Because... that was all Lyn's fault? In an interview given while Karlyn sits and looks pissed, Lyn says that Karlyn "has a short boiling point," and she herself doesn't like fighting, so she tends to let things drop. They continue to have issues over the taxi, essentially because Karlyn wants Lyn to decide herself what the team should do, which she logically doesn't want to. Kimberly, however, gets the construction guy to call her a taxi. Hilariously, as the BQs see this happen, Kandice snots that the other teams are "such copycats." Wow. Just... wow. They have followed other teams and copied what other teams were doing many, many, many times, not to mention the fact that calling to have a taxi ready before you leave is not exactly a pioneering achievement in the tenth season of a show in which it took place several times in the very first season. You're not the Professor, and a taxi is not a coconut radio. Their heads have swollen, I believe, to the size of watermelons. When the boys want in on the taxi action, Kim changes the order to two taxis.

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Amazing Race

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