Amazing Race
Dude, I'm Such A Hot Giant Chick Right Now!

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Barcelona Killed The Beauty Queens

At 10:00 AM, the gates open, and the teams run into the maze. There is a lot of random running-in-the-maze footage, which works better as a visual, since me sitting here describing POV shots of bushes isn't exactly going to keep you flipping to the next page. Everybody is scampering around in a hectic manner except for Lyn and Karlyn, who are calmly walking or lazily strolling, depending on your outlook. These first three teams find the clue box, and when they open the clue, it's a Detour. Phil explains that this requires a choice between "two activities that are part of traditional Spanish festivals." The choices are Lug It and Lob It, and I like it already. In Lug It, you travel four miles by taxi to Las Ramblas, then on foot to a bridge where there are nine-and-a-half-foot costumes of giants that they'll put on. Basically, you're the bottom half of the giant, and you're inside the pants or the skirt, and the top half of the giant is towering above your head as an extension of you, like another person sitting on your shoulders. Like a doll you're inside, you dig? Okay, because you kind of have to visualize it in order to understand why it might be hard. Anyway, you put these giants on, and then you walk a mile through the streets to a square where a "huge female giant" (is there any other kind?) is waiting. She will give you your clue. In Lob It, you take a taxi nine miles to a town square where "they'll take part in a tomato fight." Oh, boy! They'll "defend themselves" while hunting through a giant tomato pile for one that contains the clue.

Shortly after the three lead teams get the Detour clue and take off, the *lyns find the clue box and read the clue themselves. In the next rather amusing segment, the lead teams get themselves totally turned around just trying to get out of the maze, while the *lyns walk out to the perimeter and calmly exit the thing. As the BQs run out with the A(AM!)s, Dustin (I think) bitches that it's crazy how the *lyns can walk and still find things, and Kandice (I think) says that "they're calmer," and then she adds, "It's pretty smart, actually." Yeah, no kidding. The net result of all of this is that all four teams basically exit the maze at the same time. When they get to the first taxi, the BQs basically declare it theirs and get right in. Rob and Kim find the taxi that has Rob's name, but there is no taxi there with Tyler and James's names, and the *lyns, of course, never ordered one in the first place because they were busy fighting. As the Pointies drive off, trying to follow the BQs, Kim speculates that the BQs will take the tomatoes rather than "lift heavy things." Rob agrees. But up in the BQ taxi, they've decided to do the giants, convinced that those will be faster. "We don't want to search," Dustin says.

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Amazing Race

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