Amazing Race
Escape Artists

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Run It Up the Pole and See Who Salutes

When the Chippendales arrive, Jaymes cackles at the Roadblock clue and volunteers, "I'm a fun guy." He certainly works hard enough at it. He goes to unload the crates while James stands with Trey at the waiting area and talks about the other two teams being behind them somewhere after going to the Chow Detour.

On the way here, Josh tries to confirm directions with Brent, who says, "I don't...know. I don't think it's right." Helpful.

The twins finish the feeding task, asking the judge, "C'est bon, c'est bon?" It's good; as the guy hands them their clue and gets a one-armed hug in return, they rush out, not bothering to stick around to watch the feeding frenzy in their hurry to hear that French horn fartfest one more time.

The goat farmers have pulled over to check their map. "We need to be on D-30," Brent explains. Josh pulls out into traffic, although they probably should have waited until they knew which direction to go.

Jaymes goes pounding into the tunnel, calling for Lexi. She's still running through the dark like she's on Ghost Hunters or something, but she seems to feel good about having found her third variety. Now if she can just find her way back out. "These are my little sea-life ones here," Jaymes says with satisfaction as he spots some growing off the side of some dark blocks of God knows what. Lexi finds another batch that she thinks might be more correct than what she already has, and baskets those, saying that if she gets back up there and it's wrong, "It's definitely going to be disappointing." Jaymes finds some that "look like bread," and the lights go out on him, too. And on Lexi again, who's lost and praying for guidance out of here as Jaymes is already running back out. Hurrying past the waiting area, Jaymes says to James and Trey, "Don't get excited, it's really confusing down there." Trey gets the opposite of excited. But Lexi is soon running toward daylight as well.

Up in the shop, the dude examines the contents of Jaymes's basket and says, "C'est ne pas bon," or "it is not good," per the subtitles and what little I recall of my junior high French. Jaymes looks at the samples again, memorizing the names as though they're going to help him amid the unlabeled crops down below, and heads back, meeting Lexi on the way. Lexi also tells Trey that it was really hard, and she's not sure she did it right. But after reaching the shop and comparing her collection to the samples, she says, "Holy sh-mokes, I think I did it right. No freaking way." Sure enough, the champignonniste tells her, "Yes," in English even, and gives her a clue. On her way out to meet Trey, she says it was the most rewarding thing she's ever done, which is either an imprecise choice of words or so very sad. She and Trey are still in first place as they read the clue outside telling them to drive to the Pit Stop, which the clue says is the "Castle of the Ladies," although Phil says it's called Chateau de Chenonceau. It's another one of these castles we've been seeing during the b-roll all leg, this one built across a river. Now that's just showing off. "And the last team to check in here will be eliminated," Phil says, standing in front of the mat on the riverbank. Penultimate Leg Phil does not fuck around. Team Austin runs back to their cab, pausing to get directions from some locals, who send them two kilometers to Vallagon. One of them touches Lexi's hair for some reason, I guess to mime the concept of "lady." I guess there are worse parts he could have touched. Welcome to France, Lexi!

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Amazing Race

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