Amazing Race
Fight To The Last Minute

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Triumph of the Bill

In Cab Danza, Margarita explains their decision. Basically, they're experiencing Momily-like levels of frustration, and she's ready for the path of least resistance. No more traffic, no more taxis, no more local streets. She's had it. As she's explaining, Frank finishes reading the clue, which they apparently hadn't done before. It seems that he didn't notice the "you have to win five points" part. He just saw that they had to play. Rather a large omission, Hasty Confident Frank. Anyway, he's sad now, because he's noticed that "the Chinese are really good at ping-pong," and he thinks winning five points could take a while.

Commercials. If you don't buy the woman in your life some diamonds, it means you don't really love her. She can probably tell. She's probably cheating on you right now. Buy her some jewelry while there's still time.

Beijing. People on bicycles. Esquire is on their way to the community center where the ping-pong is to be played, and Rob explains that he understands that ping-pong is the national sport, but he and Brennan "have a table at [their] place, and [they're] good, too." Dude! Party at Esquire's. Then he waggles his taped-up injured knuckle and points out that, because of this little problem, Brennan is doing the pinging and ponging on behalf of the team. (He actually says Brennan is doing "the legwork on the ping-pong paddle," which doesn't make any sense, so I translated it into English for you.) Inside their cab, Brennan says that "no matter how good the ping-pong player is, even if you've never played before, you should be able to get five points." You may call that The Brennan Quote His Friends Will Throw In His Face For The Rest Of His Life. I suspect that's what he calls it.

Frank and Margarita arrive at The Community Center Of Ping-Pongness. The "local champion" appears, and he looks to be about twelve. And it's a good thing, too, because I've seen some elite ping-pong on ESPN2, and these people could have been here a LONG time if it hadn't been a twelve-year-old. "They bring some kid to spank me…no problem," says Intimidated Insecure Frank. There's something about that Frank moment that has exactly the one form of charm he has that I like. It's the same thing he did when Margarita passed him in the sports car while he was in the Swatch car, and he said, "That's cool, though." Heh. Anyway, Frank flubs the first point. Spanky flubs the second point. Spanky flubs another point. Spanky flubs again, and it's 3-1 in favor of LPFrank. (Spanky is nervous, I think.) Frank hits the next one off the table. Spanky's warming up now, and Frank flubs another one, followed by another one. Now it's 4-3, Spanky.

Esquire cab. Rob starts to grin. "Watch…I think we're underestimating this ping-pong dude." Brennan chuckles. Rob, again: "Three hours later…balls bouncin' off your forehead…" Hee! Funny Esquire. Furthermore, there (on the word "bouncin'") is Rob's Minnesota accent for you, and what could be cooler than that?

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Amazing Race

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