Amazing Race
Fishy Kiss

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M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Franked Again

The last two teams trudge through what is now pouring rain to a church where the Rembrandt scowl-alike is standing dourly in a doorway. Inside, they find the huge Night Watch mural, labeled costumes waiting for them, and of course someone playing the church's organ at full volume because there can't be a moment on this show without some form of overwrought music happening. Soon the four of them are costumed in the period clothes being sported by characters in the painting, complete with facial hair. They proceed to a large curtained-off space with two large staging areas and two full casts of the painting. Both teams get to work telling their people where to go. Nobody tells Ryan where to go, but he'll be there soon enough anyway.

In Ransdorp, Lexi hollers at a nervous Trey, "Go for it!" Trey's worried about falling into the ditch, but Lexi just bellows, "Hurry, I'm cold!" Trey goes for it and makes it across, much to his own surprise. Their clogs and then Trey himself make it back across without incident.

The two teams still in Amsterdam have their actors in position, and after a little posing, Abbie & Ryan have their clue in fourth place. Rembrandt also approves the goat farmers' work, and soon both teams are on their way to Museum Geelvinck and their appointment with destiny. Or, more accurately, Abbie & Ryan's appointment with a thorough ass-reaming.

At the Pit Stop, both Phil and the greeter are holding umbrellas against the rain as Phil tells Trey & Lexi they are team number three. No surprise there.

Team Grabbeekman gets to Museum Geelvinck, and soon Abbie & Ryan find the U-Turn. Which of course is all used up, per the plan. "We're done. We're done!" Abbie says, just like Ryan said back in Frankfurt. So now that they've both said it, it must be official.

After the ads, Abbie interviews her disgust that it was Jaymes & James who did it, being the last team they expected. Well, not exactly, Abbie; it was a premeditated, coordinated effort, because that's how much other teams want you gone. At the sign, Brent pipes up that they thought Abbie & Ryan would U-Turn them and they'd still do it together. "It's not available," Ryan says. They head off after getting hugs from the goat farmers, who feel bad for their allies in loserdom as they open their next clue. "Game over," Abbie says as they leave the museum. Brent reads from the clue, "After six PM you may take a taxi," so I guess the buses don't run to Ransdorp this late. Josh is actually wondering what to do, like it's a challenging dilemma, and "what we need to do to be true to ourselves." Get your asses to the Pit Stop, dummy. Brent wonders if they're supposed to sit and wait for Ryan and Abbie to finish, and Josh says they could help them do it. Which is sweet, but pathetic. Team Grabbie is agreeing that there's no point and they're over it, but apparently they're going to pout their way to the end anyway. "Somebody's going to have to step on the mat first," Brent reminds Josh. "Do you think that they're going to say, 'No, you guys go ahead of us?'" They're not going to do that because they're here to play the game." I was wondering when someone was going to figure that out. I just don't know that I'm relieved or disappointed that it's happening this far from the mat.

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Amazing Race

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