Rob and Amber run up, and the other teams are sure to chill them out and clap half-assedly, just to make their point one more time. I'm not sure what the hating is about -- apparently, it's not the part where they bribed the bus driver not to open the door, because you'll remember that Uchenna and Joyce were in on that, so...huh. Very interesting. Anyway, Phil congratulates Rob and Amber on being very competitive. Rob says they gave it their all, but he says, "Hats off to Uchenna and Joyce." Amber says she's excited about getting married and starting a family. "We finished second," Rob says, "but I wouldn't change a thing. I got Amber, so I'm in first place in my book." They smooch. Later, we welcome Ron and Kelly. Phil asks them how the relationship is. Kelly: "I think I'm pretty much the typical woman who's just ready to get married, and walk down the aisle and start a family, and Ron to me is just kind of that typical guy who's not ready to get into a serious commitment, and I think we're on different paths right now." Blah blah blah, time will tell, blah blah. Ron calls it "the adventure of a lifetime." (He wore a "Free Ron" button at TARcon. Because he fucking rocks, and he needs a girl who fucking rocks, and I hope he finds one.) Uchenna interviews that he's so proud of Joyce, and they've overcome barriers and so forth. "I love him so much," Joyce says. I certainly hope that will all stick. They are lovely, lovely people.
I have to explain: I loved Uchenna and Joyce for most of the season. So awesome. So awesome. But I hated where this season went, because I've watched this show for a long time, and I've known a lot of people who participated in it, and I've never seen a season generate into such a bitchy, moralizing, self-righteous morass, and it's not Rob and Amber who made that happen. It's primarily Lynn and Alex, with help from Meredith and Gretchen, Ron and Kelly, and -- unfortunately -- Uchenna and Joyce. This show does not prove who the nicest person is. It doesn't show who has the best karma, or who God chooses to "bless" over others. It's a game show. The entire reason that part of me does dig Rob, in spite of the fact that he's the Thattiest That Guy who ever walked the earth and I have about as much in common with him as I do with the Travelocity gnome, is that Rob doesn't think winning this show would prove he's a better human being than any of the rest of these people. He thinks it would mean he beat them at this game, and he's right. I have sat through far too many tribal councils that turned into referenda on everyone's goodness, and it's absolute bullshit. Every single time.