Amazing Race
Five Continents, 25 Cities, and More Than 40,000 Miles

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Just as an aside, does it seem to anyone else like I've been recapping Rob and Amber, Kendra and Tana, and Ian and Tom since Methuselah's first two cells divided? Yeah, I thought so. MY GOD.

We return to Montego Bay, Jamaica, where Phil reminds us that we find Round Hill, a plantation that served as the eleventh pit stop. The teams are now getting ready to leave on the three-way competition for a million bucks. Hang on to your hats. And, depending on where you're watching the episode, your drinks.

2:37 AM. Ron and Kelly. The clue tells them to take a taxi toward Lucea and pick up a bag of onions. Phil explains that this is a 25-mile trip to pick up 50 onions, which they'll then take to a little restaurant and chop them up. When the onions are all chopped up, they'll get another clue. As they leave the mat, Kelly insists that she "truly, truly" cares about Ron, and that's why it's so hard for her to accept that it's not going to work out. I understand she's in pain, but she probably could have noticed a little bit earlier that she doesn't truly, truly like Ron all that much. She reassures us, though, that God will take care of her. Well, whew! As they hunt for a taxi, Ron interviews that it's not the greatest time to think about where they're going to be when they get home -- they need to focus on the task at hand. Which...he's officially right, but I wouldn't be able to do it in Kelly's shoes. They head up to a guard station or something and ask the guy to call a taxi. "And don't call them one," Ron says, pointing back toward an approaching Rob and Amber. "So you want to cheat on the race?" the guy asks. Ha! Ron points out that it's not cheating, which is correct, and the guy's like, "Oh, okay." Heh.

2:38 AM. Rob and Amber, wearing clear plastic raingear. They've got $445 for the leg, and Amber interviews that they "couldn't be happier" as they set out on the last leg. "Amber's been the most amazing partner anybody could ever have," Rob notes, in what I strongly suspect is a post-race interview. He also insists that "it's not possible" that anyone else can win, thus guaranteeing some more that someone else will win. They walk up to Ron and Kelly waiting at a corner. When a taxi pulls up, Rob asks if they want to share, and Ron and Kelly say no and hop in. Rob asks the driver to call another taxi for them, but once they get going, Kelly -- who bitched quite dramatically about Rob and Amber's dirty play on a few occasions, you'll recall -- tells the driver not to call a taxi as he said he would. Of course, had Rob done the very same thing, the entire contingent of whiny-ass teams (including Ron and Kelly) who bitched about "lack of character" would more than obviously have included that as evidence, but when they do it themselves? Just playing hard! Look over there! Don't look over here! It's not the heat, people. It's the hypocrisy.

2:48 AM. Uchenna and Joyce read the clue. Noting their lack of money, they walk away from the pit stop. They go inside the hotel and ask how far away Lucea is. They learn that it's about 15 miles. Their big idea is to head for the airport, where they hope they can successfully beg for money. Unfortunately, they learn that the airport and Lucea are in opposite directions.

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Amazing Race

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