Amazing Race
Five Continents, 25 Cities, and More Than 40,000 Miles

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Rob and Amber, still looking for a cab, see that Uchenna and Joyce have emerged, and they realize that they need to get moving. They find a taxi and hop in. Their driver seems to know where they need to go.

Uchenna and Joyce approach an ambulance and ask if it can give them a ride to the airport. They learn that the ambulance has to hang around in case it needs to...you know, be an ambulance. Maybe one of them could fake a seizure and say that the only medicine store is located at the airport. I could kill at this show!

Ron and Kelly head for the onions, but they have to stop and ask for directions. The cab driver rustles up somebody and gets directions. Rob and Amber, on the other hand, find the onions on the first try, and she mentions that they should lift all the bags and take the lightest one. It's a good point -- 50 onions is 50 onions, but there's no guarantee they're all the same size. Rob picks up the one he says is lightest, and they go. They head for the restaurant, onions in hand.

Ron and Kelly and their driver find a cop who directs them toward the Onion Shack. Thanks, cop! Ron comments that finding this place is like finding "a needle in a haystack of needles." Sometimes, Ron is so square he's a circle.

Joyce and Uchenna seem to have flagged down a car, and they're asking about a ride to the airport. The car agrees to take them. Uchenna is all over how this is "the first blessing," and he's starting to sound kind of weird and culty about winning a game show, so I'm not going go get into it too much. I'm going to start by hoping he's saying "the first blessing" and not "The First Blessing," like he's reading out of a sci-fi script. Elsewhere, Ron and Kelly finally find the Onion Shack. They grab their onions and go. (Sounds like a euphemism! Isn't!)

Uchenna and Joyce get out of the car at the airport, talking about what a good guy that was who helped them.

Rob and Amber get to the Jerk Shack and have a little tutorial in cutting the onions up nice and small. As they finish their 50 onions, they'll drop them into a big pot. They start cutting. They chop; they dump into the pot. "This is going to take a while," Rob notes. Just then, Ron and Kelly show up. "We're only about ten onions in," Rob says, "So now, the Great Onion-Chopping Contest will staht." Heh. Ron and Kelly start chopping. This is surprisingly suspenseful, for something that's sort of like a less complex version of Iron Chef. Kelly declares herself "not good at cutting things," which sort of reminds me of Dark Hair, who wasn't "good at holding things up," whatever that means. Rob, on the other hand, says that his mother used to put him in the basement and make him chop onions. Well, you'd have to do something with him, I suppose, so he wouldn't spend all his time rifling through your purse looking for loose change.

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Amazing Race

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