Amazing Race
Follow That Plane!, Part I

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A+ | Grade It Now!
Clueless, in every sense of the word

Commercials. If you're doing so much housecleaning that you're imagining footprints spontaneously appearing as you work, then you need to open some windows and release the fumes.

Back at Waterworld: The Domestic Turmoil Years, Wil is still trying to get the clue out of the box. He tells Tara that it won't come open. "Rip it off, Wil! Everyone else ripped it off!" she yells. You know, at this point, just the fact that these people have only a few minutes of fame left is such a relief to me. Wil dives again, and finally, finally, this torture is over. And when I say torture? I'm talking about torture. But the most irredeemable moment for Tara is actually yet to come. When he is back on the boat, having retrieved the clue, she feels the need to inform him that everyone else did it much faster than he did, and to generally continue her campaign to convince him that he should pretty much go back in the water, tie himself to the bottom, and wait to die. In summary? Any belief I ever had that she wasn't just as bad as he is was pretty much obliterated in that sequence right there. That was one of the worst sequences of behavior I've ever seen from anybody on this show, and that includes both seasons and all forty-four contestants. And the peripheral characters. Ugh.

Boston and the Teeth, all still scantily clad, fly over the water toward the boat ramp. Blake flashes the Community Chest as he and Paige land. Boston is right on their heels. Wil and Tara approach just as the other two teams drive off, so Wil notes that they aren't actually very far behind. Tara is having none of it, of course, because it is one of her little recreational activities to resent Wil and how very, very put-upon she is because she has to be associated with him. The last thing she wants is to have any of the burden lifted.

Chris and Alex are having trouble with navigation. Chris is driving, Alex has the map. It's a little tense.

Taraweasel get in their car. "I want you to apologize," he says. She responds that for a month before they came on the trip, he told her that he was going to have to do everything, because she sucks. Can I just ask why in the hell she came, then? I'm serious -- the girl needs to put down the violin she's using to play her sad song, because unless she was blindfolded, stuffed into the back of a van, and forced to show up in the desert of Nevada, she came on this thing voluntarily, she teamed up with Wil voluntarily, and it's time to stop acting like a beleaguered victim and own up to the fact that she's playing an equal role in this nonsense that goes on between them. Nothing that's this kind of ugly ever goes down without equal participation from both parties to begin with, and certainly this is no exception. Suck it up, dear -- you own half of this relationship, so for God's sake, stop seeking sympathy. You're an adult. Get a divorce, cut the guy loose, and get on with it, already.

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Amazing Race




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