Amazing Race
Follow That Plane!, Part I

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Miss Alli: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Clueless, in every sense of the word

Alex goes to explain the decision to Wil and Tara. He leads, logically enough, with the fact that there's no way in hell that Wil would let Alex and Chris copy the clue if the situation were reversed, and that is a fact for sure. Tara interjects that she would have, and Alex says he knows that she would want to, but he also knows Wil would keep her from doing it. Boston breaks the news -- they're not giving up the clue. Wil starts whining, as usual. "Your buddies, who were supposed to hook you up, didn't," he says to Tara, sure this proves his point once and for all that she never should have befriended the neckless wonders. Wil, sweetheart, please. You fucked up. Stop piling idiotic self-justification on top of it. Tara responds, as she always does, that it's not her fault, it's Wil's fault. Neither of them wants to accept the fact that Chris and Alex probably wouldn't give the clue to anyone, because it is a move that's entirely antithetical to the entire "race" concept. It's like asking the guy who just passed you in the Indy 500 to stop and help you change your tire. It's not happening. Nor should it. Wil keeps bitching, and Alex sticks to his guns, just as he should. Nothing to feel bad about, my dear. "I hope you feel good," Wil snots as he walks away. "I do," Alex says. Heh.

A desperate Wil (just those three words are music to my ears) now tries Blake and Paige again. Hey, he's got nothing to lose but the remaining shreds of his dignity. On the way to see the Teeth, he and Tara fight some more about Chris and Alex. She insists they're still her friends, and he insists that they "dicked" her. She counters that they only dicked Wil. (Jeez, isn't this network primetime?) Actually, dopes, they didn't dick either of you. They just didn't bail out your clue-losing asses. He insists that she's an idiot, and she insists that he's to blame. I can't stand either one of them, so I actually look forward to a little more of their humiliation at the hands of Blake and Paige. Blake points out to Wil that he (Wil) told him (Blake) early in the race, "I will never help you." Good move, Weasel! "Why would I give you the clue?" Blake quite reasonably asks. "I'm just gonna have to follow them, I don't have a choice," Wil says in that sad-clown way he occasionally adopts when he isn't being abusive and insulting. Oh, how the "I'm so much better than Blake" have fallen.

Will Wil and Tara find their way to the flying service? Will Blake sink his teeth into Wil's neck and do him in for good? Will Tara find anything new to scream about? Will Phil jump on the mat at the very end and claim the million for himself? Will Chris grow a neck? Will Alex reveal that secretly, he talks like one of those British guys on Masterpiece Theater? The suspense is really all too much, isn't it?

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Amazing Race

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