Amazing Race
Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A+ | 544 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Can you buy a neck for a million bucks?

The Teeth pull up to Rust's. They hop in the plane and get on their way.

Boston's plane lands, and Chris explains that they have to find and follow some flags. Unlike what they've been doing for the last four weeks or so. Wil and Tara land just after Boston, having successfully hitched on to Boston's highly developed ability to perform complex tasks like not losing their clue. Phil explains that the teams now have to spend the night in an igloo, and then, in the morning, put on a pair of snowshoes and walk a little trail through the snow. This sounds so familiar, doesn't it? Will the flashlight batteries be dead, too? Furthermore, those lame white shoes that everybody ran around in for the last two episodes of last season are back. Uch. Yeah, yeah, I know -- they're functional. That's what everybody always tells me about the hats, too. Wil and Tara collect the clue that tells them this, and they share a little moment of happiness at being back on track with a clue in hand. Of course, they're only here because they made that suspect phone call and followed Boston, so their entire race has a big black mark on it as far as I'm concerned. If they'd played clean, they would have had to quit in Hawaii. Of course, if they played clean, they might have been eliminated a long time ago -- like in Bangkok, where they so very illegally took a taxi instead of a bus. Ah, what might have been.

Boston and Taraweasel converge on the igloos and then gather around a campfire. It's like Cub Scout camp, but not as intellectually developed. Chris and Alex stare into the fire, thinking about that million bucks. Wil and Tara, of course, start in as usual. "Now we have clues. We're not clue-less," Wil says, thinking he's funny. He's not, obviously. But you know that by now. "No," Tara says, stealing the line spoken on her behalf by all of the TARflies, "some of us are still clueless. But we have clues." Wil: "Who would that be, you?" He cackles at his own hilarity. Oh, yeah. That's some hilarity. Wil certainly is the Chuckles The Clown of this season. "Oh, God, you're such a jerk," Tara says, constantly shocked. "You're just such a jerk." Let me get this straight. She can come right out and call him clueless, and that's perfectly fine, but when he turns her comment around and says he thinks it applies more to her than to him, he's a jerk? That's some complicated behavioral judgment matrix she's got going. I think it must have a lot of footnotes.

Amazing Race

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