Amazing Race
Funky Monkey

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 2 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
Smithing and Sewing

After the break, Rob and Kelly hurry dejectedly off the mat, Rob already blaming the boat driver for their mistake. They go back and he yells at him for bringing them to the wrong place. "People don't listen," he bitches as they reboard the boat. Rob, at some point you're going to have to realize that all these people bringing you to the wrong place have one thing in common, and that's you. Take some responsibility, for the love of Grave Digger.

Josh & Brent disembark at Swarighat, where Trey & Lexi just showed up by cab. Oops. Brent points them back down the river to where they have to catch the boat back to here, warning, "Ooh, it's a long way." So they get on the goat farmers' boat to ride it back to the first boat launch, so they can ride it back here. Lexi looks unhappy, but better to hear it from another team than from Phil, right? Almost as if in reward for their good deed, Josh & Brent make it to the mat as team number four.

Jaymes & James catch their boat in the right place, and then we're back with Gary & Will, who have finished their mattress at last, in last.

The monster truckers' boat driver finally gets them to Swarighat, where Rob once again rolls out the classic chestnut, "You just cost me a million dollars." I propose a new rule: anyone who says that to a local driver gets a thirty-minute penalty -- the first time. Additional offenses mean a longer one.

Team Austin has arrived at Keronigonj Kholamora Launch Ghat, the place where they were supposed to catch their boat in the first place. They get off, check with someone, and then get back on. From their boat, the Chippendales wave at some kids swimming from the riverbank, which looks like a lot more fun to them than it would to an epidemiologist. Rob & Kelley make it back to the mat and Phil tells them that they're now team number five. Is Rob now going to go track down the boat driver and clarify that he only cost them one ranking in a meaningless leg? Rob now enlists the Emmy-winner in front of him as a cheerleader for him and his wife, asking, "What do we got?" Phil obligingly says they have heart, and asks how big Rob's heart is. "It must be about three hundred pounds," Rob says. I don't think that's big so much as enlarged.

Jaymes & James make it in as team number six, which they're both pretty happy about. Trey & Lexi arrive at Swarighat for the second time, this time by boat. Which is when they run into Gary & Will, who just showed up by taxi, much as Team Austin did. Trey tells them they're in the wrong place and shrugs sadly before pointing them to where they'll need to catch a boat. "All right, we're out now," Gary says as he and Will head back. What happened to never giving up? Trey & Lexi are pretty happy to make it in as team number seven. And as Gary & Will take a boat ride to Swarighat, we see them interview how they're both such huge fans, but just getting on the show wasn't enough; they wanted to win. Well, obviously that was never going to happen. And they can't have been good for the show, which has had to spend the last four weeks creating the impression that its biggest fans are loser idiots. Everybody jump on that bandwagon.

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Amazing Race

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