Amazing Race
Funky Monkey

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 2 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
Smithing and Sewing

Ryan gets a kiss from Abbie and also receives his clue, which tells them to go to Kawran Bazar Shootkir market. I wonder if that's a chain? Not that there's one in my town. When they get there, they'll have to find a specific stall stocked with large white sacks that have Amazing Flags painted indifferently down the sides of them. Inside each bag is a mess of small, stinky, fly-ridden, gray-brown, dried fish, which they'll have to search through to find one that Phil claims has "race colors," although it just looks orange to me. When they've done that, they can swap it for their next clue. They're out of there in first place, Ryan saying that task was "so hard." But was it long and strong?

Rob finishes his Roadblock and gives the clue man a one-armed hug and says "love you" before he and Kelley move on in second place. Natalie is done sanding, so now she gets to start moving bus seats. The first pair of which she scoops up like it ain't no thing. In other words, shut up, Ryan. "That's your flavor? You like that?" Jaymes teases the task judge as Natalie powers on past. She throws her last seats on the pile like a desk onto a bonfire, and they have their clue in third place.

Josh is done applying putty, so now he gets to start sanding. And so does James. He wears his dust-scarf over his head with his goggles holding them in place Lawrence of Arabia style, and if you don't think the musical score picked up that cue, you're no more a superfan than Gary is. Lexi tries to get a clearly exhausted Trey to keep his energy up, while Gary complains about the poor surface he has to work with, and about Will's input. "I don't wanna hear you," he says. I'm starting to think Gary would be happier if he were doing the race alone. I know Will would be.

James and Abba get to their second stop with a slightly larger group of guides, and collect those into their bag as well. "Trick or Treat," Abba says. Kids, do not ring Abba's doorbell on Wednesday night. After they get back on their way, we hear a crack and a splat, and Abba limps out from behind a parked truck with one brown shoe and one black one, because apparently he just stepped through some boards covering a shallow ditch flowing with raw sewage. "There goes my hepatitis," he says, half-kidding, and we see him rinsing the outside of his boot with bottled water. That should take care of it. The worst part is that now he's going to be called "Poop-Foot," because a person clearly attracts undignified nicknames if he's willing to go around being called "Abba."

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Amazing Race

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