Amazing Race
Get Your Sexy On

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 1 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Istanbul, Not Constantinople

Trey and Lexi get to Kapali Carsi just ahead of Abbie and Ryan. Team Metal, however, is lagging due to Abba's knees. "Let's just not walk more than we have to, okay?" Abba says. Genius strategy, in a RACE. This Carsi looks a lot like the other Carsisi, only brighter and airier inside, and with a fountain full of clues. "Who's ready to pour their heart out?" Ryan reads from the Roadblock clue. And standing next to a vendor who's wearing a red satin vest and fez with a big fancy pot strapped to his back, Phil explains that the Roadblock requires teams to serve Turkish sherbet, "regarded as the world's first soft drink." Phil holds up a cup of fruity-red liquid the vendor just handed him, demonstrating that Turks are even more unclear on the concept of sherbet than they are on those of bagels, coffee, and delight. We cut to a table full of similar costumes, which the racers will have to dress up in and then strap on pot of their own to "serve forty glasses of this popular refreshment" to shoppers. But not for free; they have to earn 40 lira, or about twenty dollars, to get their next clue. And filling each cup requires the vendor to bend forward at the waist to -- okay, I'm sorry, this is just the easiest leg ever and I can't keep pretending otherwise.

Lexi and Ryan agree to do this for their respective teams. "This is awesome," Lexi sings as she throws the vendor costume on over her clothes. Soon the two of them are working the crowds, but Lexi seems to be a better salesperson, not to mention handier with the spout, whereas Ryan keeps dropping stuff and having to get help from his customers. Team Metal arrives on the scene and Abba decides this is less likely to be hard on his decrepit legs than some future Roadblock. "Abba Dabbie the Fabulous!" James cheers as his partner gets geared up. I notice that one of the arcades even has a red-and-yellow banner running the whole length of the ceiling overhead, which is either the race making itself a little too at home or excellent location scouting. While trying to pour, Ryan drops the lid off his pot, and a helpful passerby picks it up for him. And then it happens again, while Lexi is making the most of her personality and cheerleader-voice. Which one would you rather buy from? Yeah, me either.

Jaymes and James are now enduring the massage and more cold water. So, you know, plenty of shots of Wet! Shirtless! Chippendales! if that's your thing. In the post-leg interview, Jaymes asks if they don't look extra-fresh. Well, maybe if you stopped setting your electric razors to "Homer."

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Amazing Race

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