Amazing Race
Get Your Sexy On

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 1 USERS: A-
Istanbul, Not Constantinople

Abbie and Ryan arrive in second place after Team Austin has left, and they both look happy. Ryan appears to have made that attitude adjustment Abbie wanted last week.

Jaymes sees the goat farmers show up at the Roadblock and, wearing an extra fez of his own, again tells James to come on. Brent decides to do the Roadblock, telling us he has "a very strong history in sales." Apparently he runs the mercantiles for their business, "So I had no problem going up and peddling this juice." He goes right to work, approaching people and upselling and everything. "I may not be a Chippendale, but I can work a costume," he boasts. Rob & Kelley finally show up. "Better talk sweet to 'em," Rob advises. Jaymes interviews, "Uh-oh. You see Monster Truck, you see Beekman Boys, you know you're at the back of the pack. You know you're fightin' for last." Heh. That seems to be a fight James is winning, in that Kelley and Brent seem to be having better luck than he is. "It's the hat, isn't it?" James asks some women who coast right past him. Also he's dropping his cups, which end up getting kicked all over the floor. So it's commercial time.

After the ads, though, Jaymes directs James to some ladies, allowing him to unload five drinks at a shot. Josh is also wearing a fez as Jaymes starts joining in as a barker, telling people to get themselves a Chippendale drink. I thought there was a rule against non-Roadblockers helping their partners with the task, but clearly the rules are a little more flexible this week. In any case, James seems to have cracked the code for selling this stuff. Brent lies to one customer that the made the sherbet himself, then comes clean when the guy says he won't drink it in that case. Kelley sells another cup, but now James is finally done, and he and Jaymes go off in search of a taxi.

Despite everything, Team Metal reaches the mat as team number three. "With me completely hobbled and out of money, this could have been the end of the race for us," Abba interviews. "But until they throw the dirt on, we're still kicking and screaming." Which is good, because at this point they're the only team I could bring myself to root for. Everyone else is now either a thief or obnoxious or both.

Natalie and Nadiya arrive next and are officially named team number four on the spot. And in case you were wondering if a time penalty would be imposed for keeping another teams' money, it's not. In fact, Phil doesn't even mention it. They say that they want another win, and aren't going to be nice any more. So clearly, someone's going to get killed by them next week. Okay, look, I know it's kind of a gray area. They didn't actively take the money from James and Abba's possession; they just picked it up from where it fell. If that wad of cash had fallen out in the cab like Abba probably still assumed it had right up until this aired, Team Metal would have been just as screwed and the money would have been just as gone. Teams don't have a responsibility to point out each other's mistakes, so this probably doesn't count as being worthy of an "interfering with other teams" penalty, as I initially thought. But there's a difference between a stranger randomly finding some money that was left behind and the cash getting consciously picked up, shared out, and kept by other teams who know exactly where it came from. Plus, if they hadn't picked it up, James and Abba almost certainly would have found it and retrieved it themselves. So yeah, it's gray. But it's charcoal-gray, not heather-gray. I'm really disappointed in both Team Austin and the twins. And in the race, a little bit. Sure, reality shows purposely leave the rules a little blurry because there's always drama to be had when contestants' varying interpretations of them bump up against each other, but now we know that one hard and fast rule of The Amazing Race is "Finders keepers, losers weepers."

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Amazing Race




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