Amazing Race
Go Mommy, Go! We Can Beat Them!

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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On The Road Again

Godlewskis are accompanied by the jazzy funk of questionable competence as they drive around looking for SoHo. They stop a guy and ask him for "the town of SoHo." He doesn't ridicule them nearly as much as he could have, but he gives them directions as well as a map. They tell him they love him. I don't think they really mean it. The Schroeders spot the Godlewskis along here, and Mark feels the need to make a "silicone" crack, which...you know what? Shut up, dude. The fact that they're all blonde and they're all women doesn't entitle you to boob humor unless you'd like it done to your own wife, which I seriously doubt. Char interviews that Mark is both "hardcore" and "aggressive." I'm not sure I've ever seen so many euphemisms for "jackhole" show up with regard to one guy in the premiere episode. I'm waiting to hear "intense."

Mama Weaver tells Rebecca she's "doing great," presumably aside from getting lost and going the wrong way on the one-way street and almost getting everyone killed. Rebecca interviews about losing her father and learning to appreciate her family, and I really don't want every otherwise pedestrian aspect of the race to become about this, you know? We're in the middle of driving. Do we have to discuss tragedy? Meanwhile, in the Bransen car, the Tonyas talk about how much they enjoy "people-watching." Nothing more important to do, I guess.

Brittney points out to her brother that this is his first time seeing New York. "Isn't it pretty?" she asks. "No," he says. Same to you, tool. In the Black family vehicle, Reggie is telling the family to be his "eyes," because they're looking for the store at this point. Kenneth and Austin split up the looking into left-side and right-side according to where they're sitting. Hee. Efficient! Kim interviews that their boys are really smart, and Reggie adds that the kids' minds are sometimes quicker than theirs. It's true; kids are skilled. If you've ever seen a two-year-old run a VCR while eating a sandwich and stepping on his brother, you know what he's talking about.

Paolos. Feel free to boo some more. Mama Paolo says SoHo is "not a very big area." The kids yell at their dad about his driving and order him to close his window so he can hear them. They're just complete jerks, they really are. Mama Paolo claims that their family is one of those that fights among themselves all the time, but they'll unite against anyone else and so forth. It's a nice thought, but kind of beside the point, because...dude. I know families that are like that, but there's a difference between razzing each other and actually treating each other like shit, and I'm not convinced these people are on the right side of it. No amount of whimsical circus music (the hell?) playing under their circle-harangue is going to change it. In the car, Marion tells Tony to turn on the A/C, and somehow this becomes a big thing with her obnoxious, aggressive children, who believe that having the A/C on will be distracting or something. They appear to be basically berating her just for sport at this point, and as much as she may invite it, it's not pleasant to watch.

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Amazing Race

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