Amazing Race
Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 496 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Macau, Right In The Kisser

Oswald and Danny's driver does not appear to be quite sure where he's going, and while Oswald is telling himself not to get frustrated, he's clearly getting frustrated.

Eric and Pink get to the garden, but as they run, she falls down flat on her face, complete with record-scratching sound effect. Eric laughs, "Get up! You're fine! Come on, gimpy!" The odd thing is that right there, he showed more affection for her than he has for the rest of the race, if you ask me. "I'm gonna punch you," she says. That's the spirit, Pink! If they were like this all the time, I might believe they were actually dating. They pick the noodles, and Eric says in their cab that he hopes they can just get done with it quickly.

Danny and Oswald's cab. Oswald: "God, grant me the patience to withstand the things I cannot change. And the intelligence to hide the body of this man once I'm done killing him." Okay, if Oswald is looking for suggestions, I think burying the body actually would cause him to be the victim of bad karma.

The BQs make it to Noodle. When they see the guy straddling the pole and bouncing up and down on it, they're a bit taken aback, but then they can only crack up. Kandice rides the pole, and as she bounces up and down, she keeps cracking herself up, which is...come on. It's all you can do. It's bouncing up and down on a pole. "Ride the pony!" Dustin calls out. It's pretty funny, mostly because of the attitude they're bringing to it. It's pretty much that or fake an orgasm, it seems to me, and Meg Ryan kind of ruined the second one for everyone.

Oswald and Danny are totally lost. Oswald gets out of the cab. They actually spot the Detour end point, meaning that they're at the end of the thing and not the beginning. If it were me, I wouldn't get back in the cab. It's three-quarters of a mile through the city between end and start -- I'd tell the driver to get lost and start walking, just asking people on the street where I need to be. Grabbing everyone by the collar if necessary. Instead, they finally find someone who looks at the clue and helps explain it to their driver that they need to be at the other end of the thing. Back in the cab, Oswald says, "Right now, we're in a deep, deep valley, with no light, no sun, no water, nothing." "Oh, no, there's plenty of water," Danny corrects, noting the driving rain. Heh.

The BQs have flattened their noodle (I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING) and now, it's time to roll it up and cut it. Mirna and Charla are pulling up outside, so they need to haul. But when they have their noodles checked by a professional (as you should do once a year), they find that the noodles are too thick and won't be accepted. As Mirna and Charla get started, Kandice again rides the pole. (Not like that.) (Has any challenge ever brought out my fundamentally infantile sense of humor quite like this combination of pole-bouncing and the word "noodle"? I think not.)

Amazing Race

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