Amazing Race
Good Doing Business With You

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Macau, Right In The Kisser

The BQs have flattened their noodle (I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING) and now, it's time to roll it up and cut it. Mirna and Charla are pulling up outside, so they need to haul. But when they have their noodles checked by a professional (as you should do once a year), they find that the noodles are too thick and won't be accepted. As Mirna and Charla get started, Kandice again rides the pole. (Not like that.) (Has any challenge ever brought out my fundamentally infantile sense of humor quite like this combination of pole-bouncing and the word "noodle"? I think not.)

Oswald and Danny finally arrive at the beginning of the Dragon option. Danny picks up the head; Oswald picks up the drum. They leave. Outside, they try to ask their cab driver where to find the lake mentioned in their clue, and he has no idea. I really don't know why they keep on with this guy. Danny insists that they can just go, because he knows how to get there. Uh-oh. Danny is being assertive again. Last time, that didn't end well. We'll see. So that they'll have a cab available when they're done, Oswald tells the driver to follow them, and he's plum out of patience at this point.

So now Kandice is still bouncing on the pole, and Mirna is bouncing on it for her team, too. In an interview, Kandice talks about how insane Charla and Mirna looked doing this, and...indeed, Charla is actually up on the counter, complete with putting her feet and shoes all over everything, as they roll out their dough. I'll have the noodles without the sneaker prints, thanks. "Hold the dough while I'm doing it, so it stretches," Mirna orders. Charla complies. She holds it with her hands rather than just stepping on it, so I do appreciate that nod to hygiene. Dustin and Kandice focus on cutting the noodles as finely as they possibly can. Eric and Pink are on their way, and Eric is just hoping that everyone is sucking wind at the noodle factory, so that he can get ahead. The second time that the BQs present their noodles, they're successful, so they finally get to leave. Charla is now walking around on the food prep counter. Bleh. The BQs receive a clue that tells them to go to a particular street and find a little car that looks like a toy, meaning that it could potentially place the BQs in a very Mattel place, visually speaking. The BQs take off.

Eric and Pink are nearing the noodle factory. They cross paths with the BQs. Eric bounces on the pole inside as Mirna gets more and more bitchy with Charla about staying out of the way while she does everything. As Mirna cuts the noodles, Charla tells her once to cut them "thicker" and once that they should be "not too thin." Eric starts cutting. Mirna takes her noodles to be examined (I've thought she needed to do this for years, frankly) and she learns that they are too thick. Of course, she immediately starts yelling at Charla right there on the spot about how it's her fault. Sarcastically, she's all, "Good job, 'make it thicker,' good job." You know, you spend thirty years writing various things, and when you most need them, words fail you, and all you can think to say is: "Bitch." As Eric bundles up his noodles, Mirna rolls the dough out again while continuing to berate Charla over how all she was supposed to do was "observe" what Mirna was doing, and to observe correctly. Perfection is her cross to bear, man.

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Amazing Race

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