Previously on Fairy Tale Horror Stories: The Day Sneezy Was Buried Alive: Teams headed from Moscow to Germany, where they faced the horrors of the passenger seat and then rescued gruesomely abused Travelocity gnomes. The Detour offered a choice between performing a supposedly precise traditional folk dance and hitting each other over the head, which is probably the most traditional folk dance of all, really. Fran and Barry were allowed to finish without doing either. After making loopy circles on the Autobahn for a good while, Wanda and Desiree and Danielle and Dani had only each other left to battle as they tried to stay out of last place. In the end, Desiree's weak gnome-finding skills doomed her and her mother to a sad exit, although it didn't appear as though additional time spent with them would have been as much fun as early time was. Now, there are eight teams left. Who will be Philiminated...next?
Credits. Wait, Lisa and who? [BOMP.]
Commercials. Thank God Travelocity bought some advertising time, because I would have forgotten all about them otherwise.
Picturesque views of Munich, Germany welcome us, and Phil explains that this thousand-year-old city is "known for everything from banking to beer." Well, that's one letter of the alphabet covered. And this was the fourth pit stop, according to Phil. Which is a complete lie, of course, because it was actually only the third pit stop, because the mat in Russia was not a pit stop. You'd think Phil would know these things. Only the third pit stop, only the third "mandatory rest period," things like that. Will Lake and Michelle keep doing well, dadgummit? Will Dave and Lori's "solid relationship" be of any value?
2:15 AM. Eric and Jeremy -- who, we learn, gave their gnome quite a lot of love after landing on the mat last time -- are preparing to leave. They are a bit omnivorous with the affection they hand out. Locals, gnomes, the occasional inanimate object -- I'm thinking it's not their first time, you know? They rip their clue, which Jeremy reads as requiring them to fly to "PAL-ermo, Italy." Phil, as he does, corrects him by saying that, in fact, they are flying to Palermo, Italy, adding that it is on the island of Sicily (motto: "Come To Justice Scalia's House-O-Stereotypes"). Once there, the teams will take a taxi to the Teatro Massimo and get another clue. In a massive understatement as they leave the mat, Eric tells us that he and Jeremy are "in a great position, 'cause [they're] not overanalyzing." I don't think they could "analyze" the directions on a box of Hot Pockets, so this is probably true. Oh, and Jeremy reminds you that he and Eric are still "getting chicks." In that phrase, the words "restraining orders taken out against us by" are silent. Eric hopes aloud in their car that Dani and Danielle will "pull their heads out of their fine little asses," presumably so that the previously claimed "tongue-wrestling" can continue. I have this overwhelming urge to make some kind of "The [Something] Store called and they're running out of you" joke at these guys, but then I realize that it is one of the saddest things about the world that you never run out of guys like this, no matter where you are.