Amazing Race

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The Phuket List

Margie and Luke are also on their way shortly thereafter, with Luke pulling and Margie riding. That seems like a reasonable division of labor. At first.

Mark and Michael reach the clue box, which is directing them to the next Pit Stop, Wat Thep Nimit Temple. "This temple, best known for housing a piece of the Buddha's remains, is the Pit Stop for this leg of the Race," Phil tells us from the wide-open grounds. "The last team to check in here may be eliminated." Mark and Michael head back to their cab, Mark keeping up a steam of nonsense the whole way. "Scooty-booty," he says to their driver, which brings even Michael up short for a moment. But then Michael high-fives Mark for a job well done. It's probably easier for him to just pretend that Mark is a normal person than try to deal with the weirdo he actually is.

Kisha and Jen's driver has found their way around to another area of Pae Yod, one with actual fish and marked boats. They board one, and Jen climbs to the roof while Kisha gets right to work handing the empty barrels up to her. Mel and Mike are still en route, and Mike isn't reassured by their driver hollering into his cell phone. "Sir, we're in a rush," he says helplessly. "Because of you being stupid," he fails to add.

The Stuntmen are feeling good about themselves in the cab to the temple. "I don't see anybody else doing this leg," Mark says. "Everybody's going to think that it's really hot and really hard and I think we tore it up." Plus you were the only ones with inflated tires. The temple comes into view, and as the taxi drives them onto the grounds and drops them off so they can run in to the mat, Mark says, "It worked. Whatever we did, it worked." That remains to be seen. They reach an open-air space where Phil is standing next to a gorgeous young Thai woman in a gold-laden local costume, who tells them, "Welcome to Phuket, Thailand." As if he hasn't been obnoxious enough this leg, Mark leers at her. Phil says their names, pops an eyebrow at them, and lets the moment stretch out while Michael holds up one hopeful finger, signaling that they're waiting to be told they're team number one. But that's not quite what Phil tells them. "You're the first team to arrive," he says instead. Completely missing his phrasing, the brothers have a long, loud celebration for themselves there on the mat, hugging and hooting and, in Mark's case, babbling. Phil lets them go on like that until they've burned themselves out, at which point he says, "However." "Uh-oh," Michael says. Phil tells them they've incurred not one but two thirty-minute penalties. "First, for intentionally tampering with the pumps and putting them away." At this, Michael kind of taps Mark on the chest with the back of his hand. Yes, it was Mark's idea, but I didn't see Michael trying to talk him out of it. Phil continues, "And secondly for breaking the rules and hiring help by having the taxi driver lead you guys along the route." Phil sends them over to sit at the base of a nearby tree to wait out their penalty, and the sixty-minute clock appears on the screen. Looks good on them.

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Amazing Race

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