Amazing Race
He Can't Swim, But He Can Eat Cow Lips

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
The Longest Philimination

I suppose my real beef is with the show for not keeping them from doing this, but as I said, it's not like the show is going to anticipate that someone is going to wreck the car through sheer stupidity and then attempt to leave it behind for someone else. Racing principles aside, this just struck me as...icky. Instincts of distaste prove well-founded when on top of making the questionable move in the first place, they gloat and giggle in the car about how someone else is going to be stuck with their rotten car in case they've wrecked it. I have to say, I'm starting to be afraid that Dustin and Kandice kind of suck, which really disappoints me. Kandice follows up with a completely clichéd "I'm not here to make friends" interview moment, which does nothing to make them look cooler. "That's what you get for checking in last at the pit stop," Dustin gloats about leaving car she wrecked for someone else. You know...I understand saying that you're just doing what the race allows and exploiting an obviously unintentional gap in the clue, but gloating about how very fair it is, which is what you're doing when you say "that's what you get for [whatever]," strikes me as bitchy in the extreme.

3:05 AM. Addicts (And Models!). In maybe the most "you can't really blame people for thinking you're dating each other" moment ever, Tyler talks in a voiceover about how sometimes, James is "passive" in their relationship. Not generally, but in their relationship. Tyler says that he needs to "step up as the dominant...role in our team." The noise you just heard was the sound of many dirty thoughts springing from many dirty minds. ["I don't even think it's sex. I think they're just deeply in love with each other, and that love gave them the strength to crawl out of the pit of addiction. What?" -- Joe R] Had he left it at "step up as the dominant," I think the censors would have required the show to add the last part, actually. James shows Tyler on the map how to get to the airport, then interviews that he's been disappointed in his own performance so far. I think he really just wants to make Tyler happy, as he implies when he speaks of wanting to "prove [him]self." James and Tyler decide to wait a couple of minutes for the Pointies.

3:09 AM. Pointies. When they're off the mat, Kimberly does not hesitate in expressing her opposition to taking the car that got smashed up. In a very interestingly staged interview, she talks about all that they're learning while he hugs her super-hard from behind. Now, I like a snuggle as much as the next girl, so normally, this would not bother me. But it's a little unusual that he chose an interview as the moment to display this behavior. She tells us that they're still trying to learn how to "communicate without arguing." She goes on to say that some days are good for them, and some are not so good, and then he squeezes her really hard while insisting it's getting better. It's all in jest, and yet it's kind of unsettling, like he's going to start laughing maniacally and just squeeze her until she agrees to marry him. Maybe they should be called the Squeezies. Well... no, that sounds kind of gross, like they're toothpaste tubes. They are initially going to follow the A(AM!)s, but it turns out that Rob knows how to get to the airport, while James's plan was totally wrong. Once they're all on the way, Tyler says to James, all disappointed, "You've got to fine-tune those skills, buddy." That is one weird, weird friendship. It's part Lucy and Ethel, part Sid and Nancy, and part Robert Young and Kitten. In an interview, James basically says they only have an alliance because other people do. They didn't like us first! The boys explain that they're looking to pick off somebody from the *wins/*lyns/*ians (that's Kentuckians...thanks, numerous EEFPs who heard my plea!) and turn the group from the Six Pack into the Four Pack, like, ha ha, not.

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