Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | 712 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Squid and the Fail

"I'm literally picking critters out of my teeth," Jen says in the back of the taxi she's found with Kisha. "And I have to pee from the four bottles of water I chugged in the process." Cara finishes up, and she drinks some water as Jaime reads the clue and they secure a cab. They jump in, and oops! Forgot their gnome. "Oh silly gnome," Cara says indulgently to it as she runs back to retrieve it. Cutest gnome moment (or "gnoment") of the episode. But once they pull away in the taxi, even she is repeating, "Fast, fast, fast!" Once they're underway, Cara says they're hoping to catch up, and she thinks she "champed out" on the Road Block. And chomped out. "That was actually fricking amazing," Jaime says. Credit where it's due.

So now it's a taxi race. Jen's saying, "I think I'm gonna ask Phil, can I pee before he checks us in." And the cheerleaders have gotten themselves an Indy driver for a cabbie. "Where was he this whole trip?" they both wonder as he races them past bicyclists as though they're standing still. "Jen about to run 100 in about nine seconds because she got to pee! And it ain't no joke!" Jen proclaims. And for future reference, the way to shut Jaime up is to drive fast enough to actually frighten her.

The sisters get out of their cab in view of the Water Cube, and start hurrying toward the crowds milling around the Bird's Nest for some reason. Is there a swap meet going on in there today or something? What does Jen have to say in this significant moment, when she has a chance to survive the series of incredible setbacks that have plagued them this entire leg? "I'm gonna pee on myself," of course.

The cheerleaders get their first view of the Bird's Nest from the cab. "That thing is big," Jaime obviouses. Which is going to make it kind of tricky to find Phil, clearly. Outside the Water Cube (the sight of which can't be helping Jen with her current predicament), Kisha points out a line of port-a-potties to Jen and she ducks inside one. Oh my God, you've got to be kidding me. Kisha is left standing outside, and the Amazing Cameraman has a great shot of her speaking to us, with the "Occupied" sign above Jen's toilet glowing redly over Kisha's shoulder. Kisha says it's nerve-racking. "We still don't know exactly where we're going. But I didn't want her to pee on herself, so we'll run for it when she's done." On the one hand, a million dollars. On the other hand, dry pants. Hmmm...

Amazing Race

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