Amazing Race

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M. Giant: A- | 1 USERS: A+
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The Squid and the Fail

Team Go Team's crazy makeup can't conceal their anguish as they get more unhelpful directions. "By far one of the worst days of my life," Jaime says. That sounds like an inspirational poster, Jaime-style: "Today is the worst day of the rest of your life."

Margie finishes downing her food, and soon they're in a cab to the Bird's Nest.

"Here goes nothing," Jen says again before another return trip to the kitchen. Kisha recites the orders, and the lack of amusing subtitles tells us they're getting it right, which the chef confirms.

Team Go Team is being reduced to offering to pay a local to show them where to go. "We've been looking for three hours," Jaime says. Yikes! That is a long day. Unfortunately for them, he's too busy to come with them. Or else he's heard about Jaime and wants nothing to do with her. In the cab to the Pit Stop, Margie looks forward to someone's elimination, "And then we can have the final three."

Kisha and Jen deliver their dishes, and now they're in third place as they read the clue sending them to the street stalls. "We're still in this!" Kisha says.

And how, because the cheerleaders are still lost. "This is why I did not want to go to China," Jaime says. "It sucks." Beat that China expertise, Tammy and Victor! And the second act-out of the show ends with them at a complete loss. Cara, in fact, has sunk to a squat on her backpack, her red facepaint making her look for all the world like a demon who is disconsolate about having just gotten booted out of Hell.

Yeah, I have a four-year-old, commercials. What, you think I'm not going to see Up?

Team Go Team's lostness continues, and Jaime suggests going back to start over. So that's what they do.

But they've got such a long walk ahead of them for that that Kisha and Jen have already arrived at the street stalls. Jen's got a "taste for adventure," until she sees what she's about to eat. "At least they're fried," she says. "Do you have ketchup?" They still don't. You'd think they'd have come up with some, after all these requests. Some ranch dressing, at the very least. "Here goes nothing," she says for the third time this episode as she eats a grasshopper. "Does it taste like chicken?" Kisha asks. "Hell no," is the answer as Jen takes a swig of water. You might miss it on first viewing if you're not looking for it, but that water bottle is practically glowing with portent.

Back at the opera house, Jaime says, "Wouldn't it be awesome if it's just been here the entire time? I wouldn't even be able to stand it." Because standing things is usually Jaime's strong suit. When they find it, even the U-Turn doesn't cheer Jaime up, as she thinks Kisha and Jen have already finished it. "First of all," Cara says as she opens the clue, "If we're going to be defeatist, then why even bother continuing?" "Oh, as if you haven't been acting that way the whole time, Cara," Jaime bitches, snatching the clue out of the folder. While Cara looks at the camera like, "Can you believe her?" (which, yes, Cara, we can), Jaime reads the clue. She still hasn't stopped bitching as they leave the building: "As I said in the first place, we should have just come back to the opera place and retrace our steps." Cara says okay, then, it'll be all her fault for wanting to listen to someone. "My apologies." Ooh, is Cara getting snarky? At least they seem to get a cab quickly once they reach the street, and Cara says, by way of explanation of that heated exchange, "I think we're both just kind of pooped." Well, Cara's pooped, and Jaime's just Jaime. "But, we shall have to remain hopeful, right?" Jaime can't manage more than an exhausted, dead-eyed nod. Not that I have any real objection to her not talking.

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Amazing Race

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