Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | 1 USERS: A+
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The Squid and the Fail

The Opera Master seems satisfied with Margie and Luke's makeup jobs, because he gives them their clue in third place. I hope it reads in part, "Shut up, Margie."

Tammy and Victor find the food stalls, and then the clue box once they're out of their cab. It's a Road Block. Phil approaches the stall, explaining that the person doing this Road Block "must stare down the gullet of something common in Beijing, but strange and alien to Westerners." He accepts a plate from the vendor and waves a fried grasshopper-kebab at the camera, calling it, "The ultimate in Chinese delicacies." The chyron simply calls the Road Block "Eat Street Food," while Phil says it's about eating "these crispy creatures: grasshoppers [which are fried fully intact], larvae [fat as your thumb, if you have really fat thumbs], scorpions [black and speared on a long skewer], and starfish." A clean plate will earn them their next clue. You know, one of the things I've enjoyed about this new season is the lack of challenges that force Racers to eat something large and/or gross. I thought it was a conscious decision to get rid of those, along with other improvements this season like the abridgment of the airport sequences and not casting a bunch of total fucksticks. But now here we are, back in the kind of Fear Factor territory I thought we'd left behind. Again, maybe the producers are getting tired as well. "Eat Street Food," indeed.

"Who's got a taste for adventure?" Victor reads from the clue, and he's taking it. "That's so gross!" he sings out in Mandarin upon getting a load of the wares. Nice of him to say that so the people making it could understand him. Tammy tells him not to even look at it, but the big white sign cards in English over everything are clearly not designed to help anyone with that. Victor's about to start popping larvae, but he's relieved to learn that it's all going to be fried first. "Please fry it well," he says as it's dumped in the sizzling wok. He half-wonders if there's ketchup, and when he gets his plate he takes it over to a bench to enjoy it sitting down. "I'm so proud of you, but not envious," Tammy says from a safe distance. Victor gets chewing.

Kisha and Jen are still wandering around that sidewalk, conscious of both looking ridiculous and being lost. "I looked a hot mess after a while," Kisha says. Being a princess is not all it's cracked up to be, Kisha.

Margie and Luke emerge from the opera house and begin their own quest. "When we walked outside, Luke said, it's not usually that far," Margie interviews. "U-Turns have to be close to the Detour," Luke adds through her. Can't accuse Luke of not knowing his Race.

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Amazing Race

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