Amazing Race
Help Me, I'm American

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Come on baby, let's do the twist

The Groanies get an interpreter, who helps them get tickets on a bus to Sao Paolo, and then they'll change for Iguacu. So this is a non-direct bus -- got it? Okay. Gary and Dave arrive. (Even they, you will notice, are ahead of Drawl.) They consider both the 11:00 with the change in Sao Paolo and the 2:30 direct to Iguacu, and eventually they too go for the Sao Paolo bus at 11:00. The two teams are, however, actually on two different buses leaving at the same time. Gary's camo hat really has to go. Really, really, really. Has to go now.

Blake, swallowing his pride, asks a stranger to write a sign for him that explains that he's a pathetic American who needs money for a ticket, so that he can take it around and beg. Ow. That doesn't sound like fun, but it's reasonably resourceful, and I give them all due credit for not giving up, given their bad circumstances. He's also got his cowboy hat on again, so I'd give him five bucks just for that. But when next we see him, he's changed hats (dang), and he's explaining to a woman that Paige is his sister, and they're stuck. As they go from person to person, they collect little bits of money. "In five minutes, we had, like, twenty dollars," Blake explains. Sheesh. Why did I go to law school again? Blake tells Paige that they shouldn't tell the other teams they made money begging, because other people will start doing it. I don't know if I think that's true or not. All kidding aside, it would take a lot for me to just ask strangers for money, particularly in a non-emergency situation. But I suppose desperation does things to people.

Here, at long last, is Team Drawl at the bus station. They explain that their cab driver was just the worst ever, and they drove all over the place, which is how they fell from fifth to last -- ouch! They go inside and run into Blake and Paige. The four of them wind up on the 2:30 direct bus to Foz do Iguacu.

Lead bus. Xerox, Tarawil, Boston. And then suddenly, doonk-doonk-doonk...uh-oh. The bus pulls over. Turns out one of the inside tires blew out. That is not good news. Chris: "We had, like, a half-hour lead on the Preachers [shot of Jeebus], and, like, Cha-Cha-Cha [shot of Danny and Oswald]." Cha-Cha-Cha? Hee. Xerox/Job explains that they really didn't think anything else could go wrong. But it did, of course. Everyone looks at the bus, depressed.

Commercials. If you loved Paul Walker in The Fast and the Furious, you're going to love him in Joy Ride. If you loved him in The Skulls, Varsity Blues, or any other film in which he second-bananaed for a Dawson's Creek refugee, please get yourself to a doctor as quickly as possible.

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Amazing Race

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