Amazing Race
Help Me, I'm American

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Come on baby, let's do the twist

Tarawil have their clue now, and they're back with the same driver. Good grief, why would they get back in the cab with this guy -- and why would he take them? Cab business must be very slow, or else he's some kind of a charter and none of them has a choice. The new clue tells them to go to Pedra Bonita, which is a big mountain. At the top, they'll find their next route marker. I really don't like the new yellow-and-red color scheme, because it's entirely too Golden Arches. I keep wanting to order fries. Maybe I'm just hungry. (Totally off-topic: I have only had my TiVo for one recap, and I'm temporarily working on this one with a VCR instead, and I miss the eight-second-replay button so badly I can't even explain it adequately without invoking horrible metaphors involving poverty, disease, robbery, or being dumped by the quarterback of the football team. So you'll just have to believe me.)

Shola and Doyin are smooching the Feathered Girl in the club. They say they "got the clue and moved on."

12:19 AM. Blake and Paige and Hope and Norm, back on the yacht, open the clue. Blake voices over that he and Paige are best friends. Paige has traded in the Hair Horns for a single Perky Dinner Roll atop her head, so she and I are getting along better as well. Hope, on the other hand, is wearing a black visor. Oh, the agony. Norm says in an interview that the race is an opportunity for him and Hope to appreciate the fact that they love each other more than ever. Aww. I love Norm.

12:20 AM. Chris and Alex. Incidentally, I now know that Alex is the darker-haired one, and Chris is the taller one. Alex calls them "two good buddies tryin' to win a million bucks." I'll buy that. In the boat to the beach, they discuss the feather. Alex: "Use your brain, what would you use a feather for, man?" Chris: "To get kinky with some chick?" Oh, Lord. Suddenly, dread washes over me. They're THAT guy. Oh, no. Are they THAT guy? I comfort myself by pretending it was meant to be ironic in some way I can't quite figure out.

12:45 AM. Mary and Peach. The Fruit tells us in an interview that this is "more difficult than [she] ever could have imagined." She explains that her sister is "very demanding." Yeah, I get that impression. The Fruit goes on to say that Mary is "like a mule," and "can do anything." Can mules do anything? I don't even think they can water-ski. Although, according to this, they can do a lot of wonderful things. I'm sure the Fruit means it as a compliment.

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Amazing Race

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