Amazing Race
Help Me, I'm American

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Come on baby, let's do the twist

Gary and Dave read the clue, and decide to go for the Fast Forward. Peggy and Claire are on their way to the volleyball too, but when they get there and see Shola and Doyin warming up, they panic, despair, and bail. Sigh. Run the damn race. Stop obsessing about what you can and can't do and just get going already. Just a suggestion.

Gary and Dave approach Shola and Doyin, who are practicing. Gary wears The Anxious Grin Of A Guy Setting Up His Joke. "What's your volleyball experience?" he asks. Doyin says, "Not good, but...uh, how's yours?" Gary, nearly giddy that his plan worked (if you have it on tape, look at his face -- it was a complete set-up), says, "I watched Baywatch." Shut up, Gary.

The Groanies (tm pseudostudent) reach the top of the mountain, where Claire is hugged by Tara (eww), who says, "You cute thangs." Man, Tara really bugs. The Groanies read the clue, and Claire wants to hang-glide. Peggy, unsurprisingly, is intimidated by it. Apparently, when she applied for The Amazing Mall Walk, she had no idea that something like hang-gliding might happen. She says they should do the metal detector. Claire grins with tightly gritted teeth, and says, "Okay, Peggy." Hee -- that was a little funny. Claire totally wants to choke Peg at this point, and grandmas in a fist fight is pure comedy. The other teams, however, start in on the Groanies about doing the glider. "Hang-glide! Hang-glide!" chants Boston. Peggy explains to Oswald and Danny that she's "terrified." "So is he," Danny says matter-of-factly, pointing to Oswald, who is wrapped in a blanket like he just kissed the blue lips of Leo DiCaprio at the end of Titanic. "I have only gone on one rollercoaster ride in my life," Oswald intones seriously. Tara tells them they have to "relinquish those shirts" (that say "GUTSY GRANDMA") if they don't hang glide. Finally, Peggy gives in, and Claire mimes a very Guido-like "Yessss!" There is much rejoicing.

At 6:30 AM, we find ourselves at Copacabana Beach for the Fast Forward volleyball tournament. A twin voices over that he really wasn't terribly concerned about Gary and Dave, because -- well, they're Gary and Dave, and if you were Xerox, would you be worried about them? The first team to score ten points off the Brazilians gets the Fast Forward. The long and the short of it is that the Brazilians initially kick both teams' butts. A twin says that they realized quickly that these people were "pretty good." Well, they are professional volleyball players, after all. He goes on to say that he and OtherTwin would have to "bring [their] A game in order to beat them." No kidding. I think, in fact, that you'd have to bring about six more people in order to beat them, but if you "bring your A game," you might at least score the ten points before we all die of old age. Gary and Dave, meanwhile, are horrible. Which they clearly think is funny. Whatever. "There's a couple of sports I'm not so good at," Gary says. "Volleyball seems to be one of them." You know, there is a funny line in there somewhere, but I don't think that's quite it. Ah, well. He refers to Shola and Doyin as "the Doublemint twins." Said twins kick Gary and Dave's behinds, and at least that's over with. The FF sends Xerox to a "jungle camp" near Iguacu Falls. They hop in a cab and head for the bus station.

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Amazing Race




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