Amazing Race
Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 556 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Greece, Lightning

10:33 PM. Eric and Jeremy are in first place again, forcing the women of the world to continue to only hope that the fellas will turn and look over their shoulders long enough to give little old us a second glance. They haven't been talking nearly as much recently about all the nonstop action they get; I really miss that. The clue tells them to take a train to Rome, which is, after all, almost as ruined as they are. Drunken careening! As the music swells to a booming theme somewhere between a passionate gladiator medley and the opening strains of "Thriller," Phil explains that in Rome, they will find Trevi Fountain, where there will be a man with a yellow and red scooter, and that man -- who may or may not be named Mayor McCheese -- will give them a clue. Seriously, I appreciate the effort to enforce thematic consistency, but I don't know why they decided to steal the McDonald's color scheme. Phil is nobody's hamburger-pushing clown. At any rate, it turns out that there are already tickets in the packet for the 8:00 AM train to Rome, so the guys leave for the station. Eric explains in an interview that they find it fun while they're on the race to just "tease [them]selves all day." They are not the first comedians to decide to aim their humor at their most receptive audience, that's for sure. "Let's find out where this bitch is," one of them mutters as they get into their car to head for the train. Do you hear that, Siracusa train station, you bitch?

10:38 PM. BJ and Tyler. They cough up another "Andiamo!" on the way off the mat. I think when he's tired, Tyler doesn't have a lot to offer other than that or "Chef Boyardee!" So he's actually chosen the less culturally insensitive option, which is a little scary. Tyler interviews that they're just as intense about the game as anyone else, but they're also taking the time to keep a positive attitude and, of course, mock the locals for the way they talk. They are so adorable that I just want to wrap them up in several layers of macramé and smoke them in incense until they wheeze for mercy.

Amazing Race

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