Amazing Race
Herculean Effort For Some Herculean Dudes

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Greece, Lightning

Previously on Never Go Against A Sicilian When The Race Is On The Line: BJ and Tyler continued their efforts to take over the world by their wits alone, using the twin weapons of bogus signage and funny accents, much like the great thinkers of the world have always done, as when Socrates attempted to save his own life by speaking in exaggerated broken Greek and holding up a sign that said, "Mandatory Hemlock Disposal." A task involving the counting of heads wasn't nearly as much fun as it would be in the sequel Se7en Times Se7en Is Forty-9i9e, although the teams did get the opportunity to become one with the concept of fish. The Roadblock forced the members of a kayak polo team to humiliate themselves by pretending they were overwhelmed by Barry and Dave's athleticism and unable to provide any defense. Somewhere, a hopeful klutz watched the sequence, turned to his mom, and yelled, "Oh my God, I think that's my sport!" And then he knocked over a lamp. Very little happened during the leg, but the lovable Lori and Dave did just enough wandering on the way from one end of Sicily to the other that they slipped behind Ray and Yolanda and landed in last place. They were Philiminated, leaving them with nothing but their senses of humor, adoration of each other, highly functional relationship, and wonderful travel experience to console them. Poor dears. You know what their showered, sweet-smelling selves are doing during this leg full of rain and bungee jumping and mud? Yeah, so do I. Now, we are down to six teams. Who will be Philiminated…next?

Credits. I don't want to over-generalize and slag dentists generally, but man, do I hate dentists.

We are in Siracusa, Italy, home of cymbals and small birds. It's also apparently a place where you can still fish right off of public piers without getting toxicsludgemosis. Phil explains that Siracusa was once "the most powerful Greek city in the Mediterranean," but now, it is just another city playing Italian basketball in the Big East conference. And here, at the natural spring, was indeed the fifth pit stop on the race, which Phil calls the sixth pit stop, a bit of confusion I'm just going to have to get over before I drive us all mad. I'm going to wind up like one of those guys who contests his traffic tickets on the basis that the flag in the courtroom has yellow fringe on it. All the teams showed up and rested here in poor, defenseless Italy, which never did anything to deserve it. Phil wonders whether Lake and Michelle will be damaged by the impact of their "emotions," by which he means "obnoxious behavior," and whether BJ and Tyler will be protected by their "carefree ways," by which he means "obnoxious behavior." Yes, it seems likely that their taste for whimsy will continue to protect them from Philimination. Because as you know, it doesn't really matter whether you're competent -- only that you're adequately silly, which is why Glark refers to BJ and Tyler as "Patchouli Adams."

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Amazing Race

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