Amazing Race
Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 580 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Brazil nuts

At the Continental counter, Ray asks Lake his name. "Lake, man," Lake responds. And then he adds, "Like the ocean." Can I just say that if I had been named "Lake" my entire life, I think I would have noticed that a lake is not like the ocean? A lake is practically nothing like the ocean, except that they both are bodies of water. You couldn't say "like Lake Michigan," or "like a boat on the lake," or "like you swim in a lake"? You have to say "like the ocean"? Whatever. Ray has my back, because he effortlessly responds, "Ray. Like the sun." It's sad that he came up with his response in five seconds and it's better and more accurate than the one that Lake uses for himself. Anyway, these couples get their Continental tickets, followed by Joseph and Monica.

Phil explains that on the American flight, we have Danielle and Dani, BJ and Tyler, and Fran and Barry. The Continental flight due to get in last carries Lisa and Joni, Lake and Michelle, Ray and Yolanda, and Joseph and Monica. The flight scheduled to come in between the other two carries Eric and Jeremy, Dave and Lori, Wanda and Desiree, and John and Scott. The Amazing Map shows the Amazing Green, Blue, and Red lines making their way from Denver to Brazil. It's an explosion of creativity, like even the graphics department is so fucking happy that they don't have to just trace interstates this time. Phil voices over that "delays in connecting cities have changed arrival times." He reminds us that once they get there, they'll need to get to the roof of the Hotel Unique. (Also known, apparently interchangeably, as the Unique Hotel.) Look, Sao Paulo has shoeshine people and dancing. Take that, Salt Lake City!

The first flight to arrive is the United flight, which lands at 10:15. Teams run for cabs. As Wanda and Desiree hustle into a cab, observers will note that Wanda's knowledge of Spanish is clearly going to be of great benefit to them for the next little bit here. She tells us that she speaks Spanish, of course, and a little Portuguese as well. "We're going to get along like peas and carrots," she says. Wait, is that a thing? Is that where Keith Famie got it? I thought he was just twee and into vegetables.

Meanwhile, Eric and Jeremy try to get their cab driver to tell them whether he saw other teams leaving. "Did you see pretty girls with big boobs? Or a mom and a daughter?" The driver doesn't answer. "What color hair did they have?" they ask him. "Brown," he answers. "Mom and daughter," Eric observes. "They're a couple of minutes ahead of us." He pauses. "Bitches." Now, I get that he thinks this is funny. The problem is that in the context of already having called Dani and Danielle "hos" when he hadn't even met them, it's just not that funny. Also, it's fascinating that he identifies Dani and Danielle as "pretty girls with big boobs," and he apparently paid no attention to the fact that Desiree is substantially better-looking than either of them, and that their boobs, while not small, are not distractingly large or anything. Which isn't a knock on them, even -- it's just me noting that sometimes, who gets labeled "pretty" by a certain type of guy has a hell of a lot to do with a hell of a lot of things other than actually being pretty. Like...they're more Pretty Girls than they are girls who are pretty, you know?

Amazing Race

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP