Amazing Race
Here We Go, Baby, Off To Win A Million Bucks

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Eric and Jeremy pass BJ and Tyler on the way out of the building. "Hey"s are exchanged. BJ and Tyler grab their clue. As Eric and Jeremy take off, BJ and Tyler agree that they are "good guys." That's their wacky vocabulary at work. As they wait for their helicopter, Tyler turns to BJ and says, "Dude, is this the most James Bond thing you've ever done?" "It's pretty James Bond," BJ agrees. (James Bond: "Oh, bite me. Come back when you're hanging from a ladder dangling out of the bottom of the helicopter rather than being flown around like Grand Canyon tourists.") They get in their helicopter and leave.

Elsewhere, the Nerd Love Theme plays as Dave and Lori enjoy the flight. They arrive at the Middle Building. They skip down into the building and grab their clue for Santa Cecilia. As they wait to leave, she talks about how cool it was to be in the helicopter over the city. They're just happy, and I can't not like that.

Wanda and Desiree are enjoying their flight, and they are now landing at the Faraway Building. It turns out to be a hotel so pretty that they can't stop talking about how gorgeous it is. Desiree thinks it should be the pit stop. I think I would, too. Desiree finds the clue, and they leave, still in fourth place, so they didn't lose a place, at least. As they wait to leave, Mom starts to wig, so Desiree does a sort of chill-out fan dance, chanting, "Calmate, calmate, calmate." Heh. Their copter comes and they leave. They think the ride was awesome, too.

Monica and Joseph are in their cab, approaching the airport. They seem to be having some issues with their driver, whom Joseph has taken to insistently addressing as "amigo." I don't think that's a great idea. Their driver starts to try to turn around, and their level of stress cranks to the next level. This is where you get your hand-in-the-hair, fret-in-a-taxi scene, obligatory in any tense premiere episode. "He's killin' us," Joseph mutters.

Commercials. I don't think I need that guy whose password is "Big Boy."

When we return, Joseph and Monica are still trying to get to the airport. Now, Joseph is calling the driver "bro," so I think things are even worse. Yesterday's "amigo" is today's "bro" and tomorrow's "asshole."

Danielle and Dani are in the motorcycle shop, suffering the consequences of choosing a task on the apparent belief that they could find a guy to do it for them. They are trying, though, and having no success. One of them (I really can't tell them apart yet at all) says they should just go to the other Detour. Yes! Usually not, but in this situation, yes. Just then, Fran and Barry pull up, and when they go inside, they encounter Danielle and Dani, who are packing up to leave. They tell Fran how very, very hard the motorcycle-assembly business is. I have to say, I'm conflicted, because I don't entirely dislike the girls, but I have this thing about people with words on their asses and people who beg for help before even trying.

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Amazing Race

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