Amazing Race
He's A Few Ticks Away From Having A Heart Attack!

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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The program gets a little buggy

Reichen seems to finally have the hang of the camera dock, but he voices over that "because [he] screwed up," Jon and Kelly were able to get out ahead. It actually looks like the teams leave at pretty much the same time, given that Jon took a minute or two to ask for directions. It's a shame, really -- I'm sure Kodak would have been thrilled beyond belief if it had actually become a plot point that the printer dock was so perplexing that it caused someone to fall substantially behind. The show would be all, "Well, make the docks easier!" and Kodak would be all, "Well, get less stupid contestants!" Now there would have been a battle royal.

David and Jeff are having a supremely rare moment of banter in their car. "I saw you flinch when [the crocodile] came out of the water," Jeff says, showing off the picture for the camera guy. David grins and makes a "pfffft" noise that he intends to convey "Oh, yeah, right," but that actually conveys, "That doesn't mean you have to tell everybody, but thanks a lot." He can only comment, "That thing was large." In one of several interviews in the episode that seem to be there for no particular reason, Jeff goes on this whole mellow rant about how they didn't come here to finish second, blah blah blah. Yuck, down with fillerviews. I realize they have to show these guys saying something when we're down to so few teams, but I'd rather hear Jeff tell knock-knock jokes than listen to more of this bland will-to-win philosophizing.

In the Kelly and Jon car, she says, "Sorry, babe, about the camera." "It's all right, babe," he says back. And with that, they're done with the camera thing. Kelly voices over, "I love Jon. There's no changing that. We're going to fight at least once a day, and we'll get over it, and we will be together forever." I know what she's saying, and I think she's sincere, but...I have to think it's going to get tiring after a while, too. It's also going to be very hard on the neighbors. In the Chipster car, Reichen is feeling no love. "Kelly's mouth is definitely the biggest of all the crocodile mouths in Australia." Is that it? That's his joke? A girl like Kelly, with a mouth like Kelly's got, and that's his line? For such a fierce competitor, he lacks a certain killer instinct.

Team Who is the first to find the route marker. Kelly and Jon are behind them, and are talking about how exactly they're supposed to find the spot on the beach. Jon thinks they need to just look for flags and route markers. David and Jeff, meanwhile, get out of their car and hit the clue box. It's time for this week's Detour, and the choices are Saddle or Paddle. Surprisingly, there is nothing dirty about any part of either option. As Phil explains, Saddle will require the teams to ride horses along a one and one-half mile stretch of beach that has four groups of clues (one per team in a group, presumably) hidden along it. Only one of the clue clusters actually has clues in it, though -- the other three are just bunches of empty envelopes. It seems to me that this would have been a much better task if the clue envelopes had been labeled for each team and each team's real clue could be in a different spot, for reasons that will become obvious. Phil comments that this task isn't difficult, but if you're unlucky, you could come up empty three times before you hit the clue, and it could be slow going. In Paddle, the teams inflate a kayak and paddle out to a buoy to get a clue. The task is a little more demanding physically, but the clue is sitting right there for you to find.

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Amazing Race

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