Amazing Race
He's A Few Ticks Away From Having A Heart Attack!

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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The program gets a little buggy

For reasons that are a mystery to me, depending on what the teams' Detour explanation actually said, David and Jeff decide on the horses. I don't know how far out the buoy is, but it can't take all that long. Maybe they're afraid that if they start swimming, they'll wash ashore in Hawaii. At least if they follow the beach, they'll know they haven't left the continent.

Kelly and Jon are looking for the beach, and she comments that she thinks they might have just missed it. He asks her not to "second-guess" what they decided to do, and she responds that it's not second-guessing; that was her first guess. She voices over that because Jon drives and she navigates, she'd like him to listen to her a little more. She'd probably have a better argument if she hadn't been wrong quite a bit over the course of the race, even when (if not especially when) she seemed especially sure she was right. In fairness to her, she's probably been right a lot more than she's been wrong if she's doing all the navigating, but in fairness to him, she certainly hasn't been entirely reliable.

The Chipsters, on the other hand, have regained second place by being next to reach the beach. Very Intense Chip runs up to the clue box very intensely, as we see David and Jeff strapping on their horse helmets. "You want to do horses?" Chip asks Reichen once they've reviewed the clue. "I love horses," Reichen answers longingly. The Chipsters now get into long pants, which is a relief if only because it gets Reichen out of the you-know-whats that I am so tired, tired, tired of seeing. Well, that is to say, that's why it's a relief to me. It's probably a relief to them while horseback riding for reasons that are considerably more intimate. Chip voices over that he and Reichen were expecting to see Jon and Kelly ahead of them at the route marker, but they were nowhere to be found. Indeed, we see Jon and Kelly still driving as all the boys saddle up. Seeing that David and Jeff go right down the beach, the Chipsters decide to go left, apparently deciding they'd rather risk falling behind in return for the opportunity to wind up ahead. Reichen voices over that "it's obvious" that the Chipsters and Whos are "archrivals." It is? When did that happen? Did that happen while I was making a margarita? He also says they're "racing against each other tooth and nail." Reichen, cliché-mangler extraordinaire.

Jon and Kelly hit a Detour of sorts, but not the kind they're looking for. It's the road construction kind. They ask the flagman, who looks like an Oppression Studies major at Hippie University of Australia, whether they've already passed Wangetti Beach, and he confirms that they have. They turn around, and Jon explains that they have to backtrack probably ten or fifteen minutes. Kelly reminds him that she was right about the turn they should have made -- which seems fair, considering that he never forgets to point out when she's wrong -- to which he says, "All right, Kel, that was my mistake. I take full responsibility for it." Man, that is so low. How do you argue with that? Jon goes on to say that he has to hope other people got lost, but he suspects they didn't.

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Amazing Race

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