Amazing Race
He's A Few Ticks Away From Having A Heart Attack!

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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The program gets a little buggy

Cut to Chip, not staying cool about his little car being out of commission. Reichen notes that they're sending out a new one to him. Chip and the instructor take off in the new car, with the instructor presumably having updated his life insurance during the interruption. Unsurprisingly, Chip is in the grass again almost immediately. He does, however, manage to finally finish the course. They pull the pit stop clue. "How was it?" Reichen asks. "Was it horrible?" "I cracked the first car up," Chip answers impatiently, managing not to add, "How do you think it was, moron?" As they get in the car to leave, Chip vows not to run over Reichen's foot anymore. Ha! As they leave, they pass Jon and Kelly on the way in.

Jon isn't at all happy to see how far ahead of them the Chipsters apparently are. As they pull up to the flag, Kelly unhappily says, "Oh, no, it's dune buggies." "Ya-hoo!" Jon calls out happily. "Do you want to do it, or do you want me to do it?" Kelly asks. "What do you think, Kel?" he says. Seriously. When one person greets a Roadblock with "Oh, no," and the other one greets it with "Ya-hoo!", you definitely send the ya-hoo person and not the oh-no person. Nevertheless, when they open the clue, they just stare at each other, grinning. Kelly finally says, "It's my turn, though." She doesn't look like she wants to do it so much as she looks like she feels she's not doing her half of the work and doesn't want to come off like the Flo. He's grinning so broadly, however, that she just eventually says, "Fine," and he takes it. He turns to the camera for a Carrey-esque fist-pumping "Yes!" gesture. Kelly voices over that she saw how excited he was, and she knew she wasn't going to deny him the opportunity to do it. "There was absolutely no way I could take this special moment away from him." He literally skips away over to the little shack where you get suited up, and as he stands in front of it, he does a happy little skipping dance, which he's still doing as he wiggles into the suit. "Boys will be boys," Kelly comments. As he gets ready to go, she leans in and gives him a smooch. "You sure you don't want to do it?" he smart-asses as he gets ready to leave. "Goodbye, Mario Andretti," she says, undoubtedly using the only car-related name she can think of. He smiles and puts on the helmet. "Be careful, Jon," she says as he drives off. She helps the flag guy wave the big green flag, and Jon is off like a shot. Oh, no, wait. Actually, Jon apparently has problems with the gears, because what he does is roll about a foot and a half, making Kelly laugh. Finally, he gets going, as she laughs hysterically. "That's just downright embarrassin' right there," she says as he drives off. Seriously, as annoying as they can be, and as much as I doubt I'd want to take large doses of them unless they were partnered with other medications, I'm also capable of enjoying them more than either of the other remaining teams when they're being funny, like they were right there. I wasn't so happy with him for pushing to do the Roadblock last week, but with this one, considering that it was something he was excited about and she didn't want to do anyway, it makes a fair amount of sense that he would take it.

Jon zooms around the course with quite a lot of confidence, as some long-lost relative of the lead guitarist from a ZZ Top cover band plays in the background. As Jon drives by Kelly, one wheel comes up and off the road, and she gasps. "He's driving like a maniac," she says with a shake of her head. ["Pfft. He's from Jersey, rookie." -- Sars] We see a nice aerial shot of Jon fishtailing into the grass, and then he comes into Kelly's view again, so she gives him another "go, babe!" Before you know it, though, he takes a turn substantially too fast, and the buggy rolls. Kelly screams. She takes off running toward the buggy, as does one of the course guys. Maybe he's dead! Maybe that's what Phil meant by "Who will be eliminated next?"! I mean, that's always what I hope is meant by "the most dramatic rose ceremony ever," and it never pans out over there, but maybe my luck is about to change.

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Amazing Race

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