Amazing Race
He's A Few Ticks Away From Having A Heart Attack!

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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The program gets a little buggy

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Back at the race course, Kelly hauls ass to the overturned buggy. She voices over that she was "absolutely flipping out." She goes on: "I thought he was dead, that was it, I wasn't going to have my fancy-schmancy wedding, I wasn't going to get to win the million dollars, it was all over." This is rather obviously not the reason she's flipping out, in case you're concerned that she actually only cared whether he died for these rather shallow reasons. She's playing it off in the later interview -- which he may have even been present for -- because it was scary, and because going into great mushy detail about how scared she was is not the way they operate. She dashes over to the overturned buggy and says, "Are you okay? Jon!" The course guys extract a laughing Jon from the buggy. "Are you okay?" she asks again. And then when it's clear that he is, she runs over and smacks him on the arm. "What's wrong with you?" Yeah, see, he scared the living crap out of her. That's exactly why she's acting like this. As the guys get the thing righted again and he gets back in, she calls out, "Babe, please be careful!" She pauses. "I need you to win the million bucks!" See, that's what I would do, too. Only I'd say something more like, "You'd better not die, because it is way too hot for me to drag your dead carcass out of here."

Elsewhere, David and Jeff are approaching the pit stop. Jeff claims that he can see Ellis Beach on the map. There is more random, meandering race talk as Jeff says he thinks this leg has built "a momentum for [their] confidence." Not even sure what that means, but...okay. "There is no second place," he adds. Well...there is, of course, but far be it from me to argue with a guy with a two-volume soul patch. They pull in by a red and yellow flag and stop. They run down to the genuinely gorgeous beach and by some very attractive palm trees in the direction of Phil, who's waiting on the mat with a friendly old dude. The boys run up the beach. Welcome, Team Who, you are team number one. Phil tells them that they've won "a vacation to Europe." Not "scenic Europe"? "Exotic Europe"? Not even "festive Europe"? I smell a trip to the French equivalent of Cleveland. (Just kidding, Cleveland people! Love you! Don't write to me! Boil your water!) Phil asks the boys if they're feeling any anxiety as they get to the end of the race. "Well, the pressure's constantly on," Jeff says. "We've got to get to the finish line first in the last leg," he adds, showing that all this talk hasn't been for nothing, as he has certainly developed a keen grasp of racing strategy. I mean, "get to the finish line first" is totally the approach I'd take, too. In an interview, he adds that he thinks other teams will make mistakes that they won't make, and that will keep them in the lead. I suppose it's possible, as long as the final leg doesn't involve finding stuff or going anywhere. Good luck with that.

Jon finally completes the course and gets the checkered flag. Kelly runs over to see him as he gets the clue from the instructor. He's giggling like a maniac. "Babe!" she says, trying not to laugh, because she's still officially mad. "Are you crazy? Oh my God." Still in the suit and helmet, he hands her the clue and she reads it. As he gets out, she asks him again whether he's okay. "Yeah," he says, seeming almost surprised she'd keep asking, when all he did was roll the buggy over. As he goes to get out of the suit, she takes a water bottle and gives a congratulatory dousing to his face and hair. She comments that she thinks this has all helped Jon grow up. "I know you can't tell, and at times I can't," she explains. But she thinks that all this craziness is stuff that Jon is better off getting out of his system in one big whoosh before they get married. Generally, I'm not a fan of the theory that you have to have all your fun before you get married, but I do sort of see her point that being married can force you into a life that feels a little older, so indulging in a little pre-wedding goofiness might not be entirely bad. "That was awesome," Jon says as he drives away from the course.

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Amazing Race

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