Amazing Race
He's A Few Ticks Away From Having A Heart Attack!

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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The program gets a little buggy

Back at the wool piles, the two boy teams are still engaging in some good wool hunting. Another wad hits the camera as Chip remarks, "We have to beat them." Hey, he's getting the hang of it! Beat them! Go faster! But has someone caught on to his clever plan? "I want this clue first," David says with a particularly attractive chunk of wool stuck to his shoulder. He then explains in a voice-over that he and Jeff went all the way through the wool once and found no clue, so they realized that they had probably overlooked it, which would then require them to go back and start over, looking a little more carefully this time. That's exactly what happens every time I look through the mail for my car insurance bill. Over in the Chipster stall, Reichen retrieves the clue, which is quite well-covered in wool, and he and Chip leave. Everyone is being very secretive and whispering a lot about their progress, which seems kind of pointless, since nobody is going to know where their clue is just because they know you found yours. We've apparently reached a point of secrecy for secrecy's sake. What would a competition be, after all, without conspiratorial whispering? The Chipsters take their clue and run back to the car, leaving the again-hapless Whos to continue digging. The Chipsters are on the road in a jiff.

David: "We probably just grabbed too much stuff at the beginning, and just...threw it out of the way instead of...finding it." You know, that's an impressive word-to-syllable ratio that boy's got going, especially if you don't count "ing" words. "It's not there, man," Jeff mutters. "Keep looking," says his partner in bumbling.

Commercials. Is Burger King claiming that two pieces of toast are in fact "giant croutons"? Oh, the things those marketing people come up with on the third night of a four-day bender.

When we return, David and Jeff are seriously in the weeds as far as the wool-searching. Among other things, the pile they pulled out of their stall is perilously close to the piles from the other people's stalls, so now they have to worry about their clue getting mixed into a whole different stack. Finally, David comes up with it, and the boys are impressed to see how well-coated it really is in wool. Quite a change from the way they usually "hide" clues in haystacks or piles of poo, where the clue is usually practically sticking out of the side waving a little red flag and yelling, "Pick me, pick me!" to identify itself. They run out, read the clue, and hop in the car. On the road, Jeff comments that the Chipsters can't be too far out in front of them, so it sounds like the searching that went on after the Chipsters took off wasn't all that grueling.

Meanwhile, Kelly and Jon and the Chipsters are out ahead, taking it easy on the way to the airport to grab a flight to Cairns. Kelly and Jon are the first team to park and head inside at 6:55 AM. They hightail it to Qantas ticketing and inquire about flights to Cairns. Jon checks to make sure that there aren't earlier flights, and given that the flight he's offered leaves at 7:45 AM, he can probably assume other people are unlikely to get out much quicker than that. While they're making arrangements, the Chipsters pull up outside, with Who close on their heels. Inside, Kelly explains that she and Jon have booked the 7:45 flight, and they're confident there's no one leaving any earlier than that. As the Chipsters enter the terminal and run for Qantas, Kelly and Jon are finishing up with the ticket agent, so the teams cross paths just as Kelly and Jon are leaving and the intense-as-ever Chipsters are approaching. A Chipster mutters, "Damn!" to which Kelly just says, "Why the sad faces, boys?" As usual, it requires nothing more to aggravate the Chipsters but an upbeat, relentlessly cheery attitude. Meanwhile, Jon makes like he's going to body-block Chip on the way by. He pulls up at the last minute, though, depriving the audience of what would undoubtedly have been a very satisfying collision. Kelly screeching, Reichen swearing, shiny white teeth everywhere...but alas, it is not to be. At the ticket counter, Chip says, "Can we just do what they did?" Reichen tries to regain their dignity by saying they need tickets on the next flight to Cairns, because he would never just hang onto Jon and Kelly like a skateboarder on the bumper of a pickup truck or anything like that. Elsewhere, Jeff and David are checking the Arr/Dep board, and they spot the 7:45 flight. When Jeff gets to the Qantas counter, he neither follows the other teams nor asks what the earliest flight is -- he just asks for tickets on the 7:45 flight. Hmm. Worked out okay here, but I still say you always want to schmooze the airport guy a little.

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Amazing Race

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