Amazing Race
How Do We Know We Aren't Going To Get Shot?

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Antebellum? I hardly even know 'em!

Team Linz and the pinks continue carrying soldiers. The Weavers continue lighting lamps. Bransens and Aiellos start with soldiers, and SIL David, much as he did with the flag thing, tells us how this is so meaningful to him because he's a Marine, and...I get it, really, but...I get it. If you see what I mean. The Linzes and pinks have only one soldier left, and the Weavers have only a couple of lamps left. The Weavers are done lighting their lamps first, so they grab their flag and take off -- shrieking -- for the pit stop. The Linzes finish carrying soldiers and head for the pit stop as well, but as we stare longingly at Phil (could be just me) at the pit stop, we see that it is...the...Weavers landing on the mat first. They're so excited, and they just can't hide it. They've won a trip to Bermuda, and they think they like it. Rachel says she's happy with her mom for taking responsibility for them and everything. I just can't find anything about these people to relate to, and I'm starting to think that it's because four people on each team means that you never get to know anything about any individual person. All the teams are kind of a blur, with the exception of people who really stand out demographically, like Carissa, or people who really stand out behaviorally, like DJ.

Congratulations, Linzes, you're team number two. And Gadzookskis, you're team number three.

Wally is struggling with the dead bodies. He abruptly declares to his daughters that it's not happening. No dead bodies for Wally! What will the Tonyas do now?

Commercials. I'm upset that Cameron Crowe has made a movie I'm not sure I want to see. That feels wrong to me.

When we return, Wally does buck up and go back to carrying the dead. Yay!

And here come the Gaghans. "Battlefield, battlefield!" Billy says. As they walk out there, Carissa remarks, "The guys are...fighting. How do we know we're not gonna get shot?" I do think that's a bit of a heavy scene for a nine-year-old. Reenactment or not, I'm surprised they made this call. Mom tells her not to worry, but...it's still so noisy, you know? At nine, I would not have liked it.

The Schroeders have finished filling their lamps, so now, they work on lighting them. Bransens and Aiellos are still carrying soldiers. The Gaghans work on picking up their first soldier, and the way the family has the stretcher arranged, Mom and Dad are at the corners, because...that's the way it's going to go. "Carissa's not doin' anything," Billy complains. "She's trying, honey," Tammy tells him. "Can I get Carissa's job?" Billy snots. Smart-ass. Furthermore, he kind of has Carissa's job. His parents are doing the carrying, so. ["This is probably an oldest-child thing, but when your mother asks 'the two of you' to do chores or whatever, and you end up doing them yourself because the younger kid is too small to help and s/he's just getting underfoot? You're over it. It's not Carissa's fault, obviously, but I'm kind of feeling Billy on this one." -- Sars]

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Amazing Race

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