Amazing Race
How Do We Know We Aren't Going To Get Shot?

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Antebellum? I hardly even know 'em!

The Paolos get to the shoe. DJ fetches the clue, and they leave. Just then, they see the Bransens arriving. Papa Paolo directs DJ to 30 West. When Lindsay-Tonya brings back the Bransens' clue, they head back out to Route 30.

Aiellos get their clue. They're very excited about where they're going, because SIL David lives right near D.C.

Team Linz shows up at the shoe in last place. "We're going to go 30 West," one of them says, probably while farting. ["Why you keep saying that like it's a bad thing, I just do not understand. [poot!]" -- Sars] Alex, incidentally, is the one wearing the stupid "Who Dey" shirt this week. I do not like that shirt.

The Gaghans put themselves on 83 South, followed by the Schroeders. In the Godlewski car, Sharon is teased about how much she undoubtedly loves having three backseat drivers. Not only that, but ones who talk at the same time are surely even more fun. The Weavers also get themselves to 83 South. The Rogerses, on the other hand, are accompanied by spooky music that indicates that things with their route are not entirely right. Indeed, they are all beginning to be surprised that they haven't seen a sign for 83 South yet. Brock also mentions that he hasn't seen any other teams. "You're responsible for finding 83 South," Papa Rogers says, setting up the blame for later. The Paolos, on the other hand, find 83 South, and then the Bransens.

In the Aiello car, SIL David is in the tragic position of falling victim to I Live There And I Don't Need No Stinking Clue disease, as he knows from experience that the famous reflecting pool in D.C. is the one that's...between the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial. Well...but the clue says "U.S. Capitol," right? I mean...it's not that the Capitol isn't roughly near those other buildings, but those aren't "at" the U.S. Capitol. Too bad. The Linzes, on the other hand, are using the We Know Nothing But What's On The Clue theory, so they find the Capitol on their map and its associated reflecting pool. Good for them. In fact, they double-check, because they see both pools on the map, and Alex confirms that the clue says "the reflecting pool at the U.S. Capitol." Nick declares that there will be no stopping, so any peeing will be "in a cup." "Ew," Megan says. If they remain in the race, they're going to run out of bodily functions about which to make jokes, I have to say. Pretty soon, we're going to be down to cleaning out your ears.

And now, your moment of extreme pain for the episode. In the Rogers car, Papa Rogers says, "Excuse me, excuse me. We have passed up 83 South. We are way off." "Did we go the wrong direction?" Brock asks, fairly immediately hitting on the problem, which I imagine he's been suspecting for some time and only didn't bring it up because he knew his father wouldn't listen to him. "Well, I'm reading the map," Papa says, all pissy, as if he needed to bury his head in the map the entire time rather than looking for signs. "We didn't pass it," Brock insists. "We did pass it, Brock," his mother says, not really having any idea, quite clearly, but never even bothering to wonder whether Denny is wrong and Brock is right.

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Amazing Race

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