Amazing Race
How Do We Know We Aren't Going To Get Shot?

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Antebellum? I hardly even know 'em!

Because -- follow me, here. You're looking at the map. You can see that you've "passed up" 83 South. That means you're looking at the map and you're seeing where you are, and where 83 South is, and you have to know that you're not heading in the direction of 83 South. So Papa has looked, and he has seen that he is substantially east of 83 South, and he knows that he's driving away from it. So if he was looking at the map before, and if he could see where they started, he can see that 83 South is not between where they are and where they started. In other words, if he legitimately saw where they were, and he saw 83 South, but he just mixed up the words "east" and "west" inside his mouth, he'd have been looking west toward 83 South on the map, so by the time he figured out where they were, he'd see what happened. This, on the other hand, indicates that either he wasn't aware of where they started, or he's just not paying attention, or he's just being stubborn, because if he can see that they're east of 83 South, he should be able to see that they didn't pass it, and that he sent Brock in the wrong direction.

Anyway, Brock says again that he didn't see 83 South. "That's okay," his mom says, all forgiving even though she never even considered giving him the benefit of the doubt. "Not seeing it and not passing it's two different things," his father says coldly. No chance. He leaves no chance the kid isn't wrong. "Let Dad drive again," Mom Rogers says, backing up the theory that the kid sucks with the little "that's okay, sweetie, you're just too dumb, so let your dad take over" half of the soul-crushing equation. "Get up here and turn around," she says "gently." Back in the car, Brock says, "There was no 83. There was no exit." Papa Rogers, however, goes on to patronizingly explain to the camera, "We took our eye off the ball. We said '83 South' to the driver, and we passed up the exit." You can see on Brock's face as they drive on that he knows he didn't pass it. He's positive he didn't pass it. I suspect that when his father tells him something like that, he makes damn sure he doesn't pass it, because this is what happens, with the berating and the putting down and the getting maps bounced off his head.

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When we return, we get to hear Papa Rogers bitching out his kid again, but then he asks Brittney -- sweetly calling her "Bri" in spite of his foul mood, of course, to underline that he still loves her -- whether they're getting close to 83. Looking at exactly the same map her father was supposedly looking at before, Brittney immediately says, "There was no 83 exit the direction we went." Brock looks over. "What'd I say?" he asks, irked. "You were right," Mama Rogers finally admits. Brock does a little imitation of his father's bitching, which his father more than richly deserves. "We need to listen to Brock more," Brittney says simply. Believe it or not, in spite of being 100 percent at fault for everything that just happened, Papa Rogers does not respond by apologizing, or by feeling like a dick. He responds by saying that apparently he gave the family the wrong instruction but adding, "Only one person can do so much." So now, having struck out with blaming Brock, he's taking a not-so-subtle sideswipe at his wife and at Brittney -- the former of whom we will later learn has a concussion at the moment and the latter of whom just showed him up as the goat of the situation, not to mention daring to openly say they ought to quit assuming Brock is stupid -- by implying that it's because they're useless and he had to do everything that the team wound up in this situation. So what have we just learned? Not only is Dad never wrong, but if you support your brother and point out that Dad is wrong, Dad's coming for you next. That is some ugly behavior.

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Amazing Race

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