The helicopter returns, so the Weavers and pinks have their clue, which tells them to go to Moab, Utah to find Gemini Bridges. Phil explains that this is a 180-mile trip, and that Gemini Bridges is a rock formation, despite the fact that I think it would be a lovely name for, say, Jeff Bridges's granddaughter. The Weavers get on the road just ahead of the Goodlookskis. Meanwhile, Nick and Alex ride the helicopter up to the top of Elephant Butte. Tommy calls the ride "sweet" from the ground while Nick calls it "sweet" in the air, meaning that I think Beavis and Butte-head have been breathing a little too much of the same air. They get their clue and return to the rest of their team at John Ford's Point, where the Bransens haven't even arrived yet. The Linzes read the Moab clue and leave. Tommy is so enthusiastic in the car that Alex suggests it may be time for "a helmet," and I am suddenly thinking about Tommy in a harness, strapped to a jungle gym like Mike Myers. It kind of works.
Finally, the Bransens arrive and a couple of the Tonyas take the helicopter ride. They're sort of getting that sad Irrelevant Edit in this episode, where by the time they get to everything, there's nothing left to say about it, so they just show what's absolutely critical for plot reasons. It's like being about the third person devoured in a Stephen King book. The Tonyas return, and their family leaves for Moab in last place.
In the Weaver car, Rebecca complains that she "is not digging Utah right now." Rachel adds, "Whoever says the world is getting overpopulated needs come to Utah." Okay, I'll make you a deal, sweetheart. I'll go to Utah, and you can go to Calcutta, all right? Because a vacation in the southwest would do me good, and I think it's more than safe to say nothing would serve you quite as well as a trip to Calcutta. Rolly throws in his two cents: "God must have spent a little less time on this state." This is just so...sad. I mean, have you ever been in the desert in the southwest? It's absolutely gorgeous. They're in or near Monument Valley, for fuck's sake, and they can't do a damn thing but complain. What, I wonder, did they think the race would look like? Do you think they'd be bellyaching less in Bangkok? Or a Parisian sewer? Griping about how gross everything is everywhere you go is so unseemly. And of course, their mother is giggling along, because it would never occur to her to interrupt any of her children's asshole behavior.













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